Page 59 of Prudence
“It wasn’t that. I told her I’d move to London with her and support her while she studied.”
“Hey,” Tristan interjected. “What if it was because of Dad and her aunt?”
Clearly, he’d come to the same conclusion as I had. And clearly, I was an idiot for thinking he could keep a secret. Tristan had always been a terrible blabber mouth, and that hadn’t changed with age. I shot him a glower.
“Fuck, sorry. I wasn’t supposed to mention that.”
“Someone better start explaining,” Nuala demanded, and that was how I found myself going over the entire story again, this time for my sister. It was only as I came to the end that my mother appeared behind me before taking a seat next to Nuala.
“Well, it sounds like you’ve all found out about your father and Nell Patridge, then. As if today couldn’t get any worse.”
All three of us stared at her, gobsmacked.
“You knew?” Nuala challenged.
“Of course, I knew. Your father and I have been together for over forty years. We tell each other everything.”
“And you didn’t think to tell us that our dad almost had a baby with another woman when he was a teenager?” Tristaninterjected. “Okay, no, that would be a very weird thing to tell your children. Makes sense that you didn’t.”
“Your father was only a boy when it all happened,” Mam said. “I didn’t judge him for it, and at the time, he was willing to help Nell with the baby. She refused because he wouldn’t marry her, which, in a way, I can understand. I wouldn’t have wanted to give birth as a single mother during those times either.”
Nuala made an exasperated choking sound as she looked at Tristan, then at Mam. “This is allsoweird.”
“Did you know that Milly was her niece?” I asked Mam.
She shook her head. “No, actually. I didn’t put it together since they have different last names. Your father just told me.”
“Speaking of Dad, how is he?” Nuala questioned. “Do they know why he collapsed?”
“They still aren’t sure but they’re running some tests. It could be a while before they can make any conclusions.”
“Is he all right?” I asked.
“He’s feeling much better,” Mam said, placing a hand on my arm and giving a reassuring squeeze. “He’s going to be okay. You all should be able to go in and see him in a while. They’re just finishing up the MRI.”
“What a relief. I don’t know what I’d do if—” Nuala trailed off, a hitch in her voice.
Mam let go of my arm to pull my sister into a hug, and we all fell into thoughtful silence for a few minutes, just thinking about Dad and what life would be like without him. I didn’t want to imagine it even though it was inevitable that he wouldn’t live forever. Still, I wasn’t ready for him to go anywhere yet, not for a long time.
A little later, an orderly appeared and ushered us in to see him. The next few days were full of stress. Dad finally gave in to Mam’s demand and set a date for his retirement. A date that justso happened to be two months away, which meant I was going to have to get over my fears and step up. There was no other option.
Then, after a number of test and scan results came through, it turned out that Dad had a tumour on his brain that needed to be operated on. It was thankfully benign, but because it was causing symptoms and there was a chance it would grow, the decision was made to remove it. It was a major surgery, and because of his age, the recovery time would be substantial, which basically cancelled out the two months to retirement plan and meant I had to take over right away. Tristan was my right-hand man, though, and it was a relief to have him by my side. I definitely couldn’t handle it all alone.
There was so much to do that I hadn’t even had the opportunity to touch base with Milly and discuss what had happened between us at Gigi’s party. I did, however, make a point to speak with Paloma and reiterate to her firmly that what she’d proposed was deeply inappropriate. She’d been on a flying visit and left the morning after the party, but I’d managed to catch her before she’d left. She’d had the grace to look chagrined and admitted it was inappropriate. She’d also promised it wouldn’t happen again, which was a relief. I wasn’t attracted to her in that way anymore. Yes, she was a beautiful woman, but after the divorce, the part of me that desired her had died. Or perhaps drifted away was a better way to describe it. Basically, I thought of her as a co-parent and a friend and nothing more.
Amid all this, I barely had a second to mull over the revelation about Milly’s aunt and whether I was even going to bring it up. The past was the past, and there wasn’t much to be achieved by talking about it. Still, I was curious to know if her aunt was the reason she wouldn’t be with me back then. For so many years, I’d convinced myself my love for her was unrequited, but what if it wasn’t? The idea that Milly had wanted me like I’d wanted her back then made my head spin. Ituntangled so many things about us that had never made sense, and I just wanted to go to her, lay it all out and tell her I wasn’t angry. That I understood her reasoning even though I wished she’d been honest with me from the start.
To add to my stress, the school holidays had started, and Deirdre had flown to London to spend the summer with her dad. Gigi was missing her already, and though she had other friends to spend time with, I knew she’d prefer to be with Deirdre.
I was in my office dealing with endless requests and meetings, the ones that couldn’t be delegated out to Tristan or my assistant, Whitney. A knock sounded on the door before Whitney dipped her head in. “Sorry to disturb you, Mr Balfe, but there’s a Milly here to see you.”
I blinked in surprise. Milly was still staying at the hotel, but she hadn’t come to my office until now. “Of course. Send her in.”
When she appeared, my breath caught. She was so fucking beautiful, and I’d missed seeing her these past days. Milly wore her hair down, her body wrapped in a pale green summer dress that hugged her figure in ways that had me wanting to pull her onto my lap and do sinful things to her while my assistant sat outside, none the wiser.
“Hi, sorry for bothering you while you’re working, but I just wanted to come let you know that I’ll be checking out today. The work has been completed on my house, which I have you to thank for because your guys did an amazing job.”
“You’re leaving?” I asked, disappointed. I guess I’d subconsciously enjoyed having her close, though I refused to delve too deeply into what that said about my feelings for her. I was still all twisted up over the discovery about her aunt and my dad. One question persisted in my mind, refusing to let up. If she said no to marrying me when we were younger because she didn’t want to upset her aunt, then did that mean she’d been just as in love with me as I’d been with her? I needed to knowthe answer more than I needed my next breath, but there was no easy way to ask, and besides, Milly wasn’t even aware yet that I knew about her aunt. I remembered how much she’d looked up to her, how she’d respected and admired her. It wasn’t out of the realm of possibility that she’d deny herself out of a sense of loyalty to the woman.
