Page 46 of Claws and Contrivances
“I ...” Rose moistened her lips, feeling strangely unsettled. “I assumed you’d prefer silence now, after so much conversation and drama earlier.”
“I would, with most people.” He shrugged. “I don’t find your conversation overwhelming, though. I did mention that I find you of interest, didn’t I?”
“You did.” Warmth settled deep inside her. “I find you of interest, too.”
“Good. Then we are in accord.” He continued to walk down the dirt road, his arm steady under her hand and his long steps unhurried, as swifts darted through the air before them and a willow warbler sang out from the shelter of the trees. “So, what were you sighing over?”
“Oh ... only myself, I suppose, and my own foolishness.” Rose turned to look at the river as she spoke, letting her gaze follow the dappled spots of sunlight on the moving water. “I was thinking of what my sisters would say if they saw what a muddle I was making of everything.”
“How so?” She couldn’t see his face, but she could hear his frown in his voice. “I’ve observed nothing of the sort.”
“Oh, no?” Her laugh was choked. “This is what I do every time, you see. I can’t bear to stand aside when I see an injustice, so I jump in without thinking through the consequences, and then ... I’m just like my father,” she confessed in a near whisper.
After a thoughtful moment, Mr Aubrey enquired, “Do you consider that a bad thing?”
Rose’s eyes misted at the simple question; she blinked furiously. “I was foolishly proud of it for most of my life,” she said, once she could trust her voice to be steady again. “I didn’t want to be tedious and practical like Mama. I loved Papa’s imagination. I loved his hope and his optimism, and how swiftly he could dream up such fantastical possibilities. He made life feel so much bigger than our little village could encompass.”
“And?” Mr Aubrey prompted quietly.
Rose scuffed at the dirt road with one faded walking boot. “It all came crashing down upon us in the end. He ruined everything, and all of us, with one wild speculation, pouring all of his savings – and our dowries, our whole future – into a ridiculous, fraudulent scheme. Mama would never have been deceived by it for an instant, but Papa ...” She shook her head, biting back the angry sob that wanted to burst free from her chest. “He had such hope and faith in people. He always wanted to believe. And ...”
She closed her eyes, remembering that first moment of horrifying revelation. “I didn’t know any of the details, I swear it. But I knew he was excited about some secret venture that Mama knew nothing about. I was the one he always confided in about such matters, and when he did, I didn’t even try to dissuade him, or ask where he’d found the funds to invest in anything. It never even occurred to me that I should go to Mama and warn her in time for her to extricate him somehow. I could have stopped him that way. I should have stopped him!
“But instead, I only laughed and dreamed with him about how we should spend the great fortune that would be coming our way, and ...” She swallowed hard against the acid revolt from her stomach.
“You trusted your parent to look after your best interests,” Mr Aubrey said when she fell silent. “It was a logical assumption.”
“I should have known better. I would have known better, if I’d only had more sense. But Mama always called Papa and me ‘her dreamers’, and I thought ...” She choked up, her voice raw. “I’ll never make that mistake again. I’ll never let my dreams carry me far from reality and leave other people to pay the price. I’ll ...” She pressed her lips together before she could finish the line: I’ll never forgive myself for not speaking up in time.
But something in the attentive quality of Mr Aubrey’s silence implied that he had heard it, anyway.
They walked without speaking for the next few minutes. The air was cool in the shade of the trees, but Mr Aubrey’s arm was steady and his figure seemed to emanate a warmth that crossed the few inches between them. Rose supposed she should have felt mortification over what he had just learned about her. Instead, she felt oddly lighter, and able to breathe more deeply again.
Her gaze drifted across a family of moorhens on the riverbank, watching the parents coax their fluffy infants into the water. They finally set off in a busy, bustling parade ...
And Mr Aubrey said quietly, “It is no easy thing to feel a disappointment to either of your parents.”
“No,” Rose agreed, then abruptly turned to face him. “Wait. How could you be a disappointment to either of your parents? You’re the most respected dragon scholar in Britain.”
“Well.” His lips twisted ruefully. “You may be surprised to hear that isn’t every parent’s dream for their only child. My parents certainly had higher goals in mind.”
Rose rocked to a halt on the dirt road, pulling him with her. “What ‘higher goals’?” she demanded.
He sighed. “I believe I mentioned that my grandfather, Sir Toby Grayling, is a banker?”
“Yes ...” She frowned, trying to read his guarded expression. “Did they wish you to enter his business?”
“Quite the opposite.” He let out a huff of breath that wasn’t quite a laugh. “My father was in the business, but only until he contracted his betrothal to my mother, a gentlewoman. Giving up his place at the bank to live the life of a leisured gentleman was a prerequisite of that match, and with my grandfather’s support, he could afford it. Everyone knew, though, no matter how hard my parents tried, and even after my father changed our family name, exactly who he truly was and what he’d done before. He could never properly adjust his accent, despite all my mother’s tutelage. That was why they trained me so carefully from birth. I was meant to take my place in good society and elevate them along with me.”
“That is absurd,” Rose said flatly. “You would be miserable in a crowded ballroom.”
“As indeed I was at the school where they sent me to become a gentleman.” He grimaced. “I was fortunate enough to make one good friend there, who shielded me from the worst of it, but it wasn’t until I reached Cambridge that I finally found a safe harbour. At that point, I dug in my heels, refused to leave ... and my grandfather overruled my parents to allow it in the end. Still.”
The muscles in his arm clenched against her hand, as if he were bracing himself against his own words. “I believe my father regretted what he called my ‘betrayal’ to his end, and my mother shows no signs of ever giving up her own disappointment.”
“Then she is closing her eyes to the success you’ve achieved.” Rose squeezed his arm firmly. “You should have heard how Uncle Parry raved to us before your visit! Anyone who respects true scholarship would be impressed by your work. Why in the world should you waste your talents feeling wretched and tongue-tied in a ballroom when you could be serving a greater purpose in the world? That’s what I’ve dreamed of, more than anything!”
“Scholarship?” His eyebrows arched.
