Page 103 of Lucky Laces
I frown.“I’m fine.”And I am.I always am.I always find a way through.
Alwaysfind a way to move forward.
“DeeDee baby,” he murmurs.“Don’t lie to me about shit that has pain slicing across your face and your body going stiff against me.”
Exhaling, I debate on what to tell him.
And on how likely he is to drop this because we have a relationship to make public and a boss to talk to and…
Right.
One look at his face tells me howunlikelyhim dropping this is.
So, I give.Partly.“There are people here who might talk or judge?—”
He studies me for a long time then sighs and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.“Yes,” he says, “and you were worried about that before we came, but you didn’t get stiff, sweetheart, didn’t have pain flashing across your face then.So”—he steps a little closer—“tell me what’s changed.”
I close my eyes.
His hand settles on the side of my neck, squeezes lightly.“Was it seeing Rhodes with Chloe?”he asks gently.“Did that remind you of?—”
“Yes,” I whisper.
He stills.“But that’s not all.”
A statement.Not a question.
And it takes me by surprise.
So I go stiff again.
Dammit.
“Tell me, baby,” he orders, but he does it soft and he does it gentle and…
I give.
“You didn’t have that,” I whisper.“Not with your parents the way they are.”His expression…God, ithurts,but I find I can’t stop talking, not now.“I had that with mine until I lost them.And I had it with Grams and y-you—” My lungs hitch but I push through and it’s anger that’s fueling my rise in volume.“Youdidn’t.Your mom and dad showed up that night of the quake like they were trying to earn the Parent of the Year award, but did nothing but make it harder for you to get the care you needed, create chaos, make you feel worse than you were already feeling, and then they were happy to sail back home the next day like”—I clap my hands together, toss them out to the side, jazz hands style—“job well done.My work here is complete and so we’ll just go right back to our life of gardening and book club and bitching about everything and everyone and?—”
“Baby,” he says, face gentle.
“No!”I snap.“They could have lost you.Theirson.And instead of clueing in about how fucking precious a gift you are, they came in, made an appearance, and then fucking left.”
“Sweetheart—”
“And that’s afternothelping you when you were a kid and making you feel like you were broken and—” My voice cracks but I push on.“They were horrible to you and they still don’t get it and they haven’t even checked in aside from a fucking thumbs up to your texts a-and?—”
Oh God.
My voice cracks again, and my eyes are burning like motherfuckers.
And I still can’t stop.
“And I really like you,” I blabber.“A lot.”
“I know, DeeDee,” he says gently.
“And what we’re building is beautiful and the best I’ve ever had and it’s also a mess and it’s dangerous and even though I talked a big talk at the rink about putting my head down and pushing through to find a way to make us work, I’m still worried.What I feel for you eclipses everything I felt for Jason, by a nuclear mile, and we’renew.”My voice cracks.“And what if you hurt me?”
