Page 51 of Reptile Dysfunction
From the sidelines, I hear the unmistakable sound of Sloane trying to muffle her laughter behind her palm.
“And finally,” Iris announces, “theemergence!”
This is the part I’ve been dreading. According to their vision, I’m to climb out of the pool via the stairs while they create a “pathway of acceptance” on either side, then execute a rippling motion on the deck that represents monsters and humans existing together in harmony.
As I haul myself up the stairs, water streaming off my snakes and skin, I catch sight of Sloane’s face. Instead of the mockery I expect, there’s something softer in her expression—affection mixed with pride.
“Beautiful!” Mabel claps as I complete the rippling motion, my dignity not just abandoned but buried at sea with full honors. “Now hold the final pose!”
The final pose, as it turns out, involves standing with arms extended while the Silver Swimmers arrange themselves around my feet in a fan pattern, their own arms raised to mimic my snakes.
“This,” I say to no one in particular, “is why I preferred working in the shadows.”
But my actual snakes seem to disagree. Several are swaying in what can only be described as an enthusiastic manner.
“Check the dictionary,” I mutter. “The word snake is synonymous with traitor.”
“I think it’s powerful,” Sloane says, approaching as the Silver Swimmers discuss costume adjustments among themselves. “In a surprisingly non-ridiculous way.”
“You’re just saying that because you’re not the one wearing light-up bowties.”
“No.” Her voice softens. “I’m saying it because I see what they’re trying to do. They’re telling the story of monsters and humans coming together through you—someone who used to protect through fear, now protecting through acceptance.”
Put that way, it sounds almost meaningful instead of absurd.
“Still ridiculous,” I insist, but my snakes belie my statement by standing even taller.
“Oh, absolutely,” she agrees with a grin. “But the best community events always are. Remember, the mayor and half the town council will be there, not to mention all those business owners considering your business for their security needs.”
“You’re not helping.”
“I’m providing perspective.” She leans closer, lowering her voice. “Besides, I happen to find slick, muscular Gorgons particularly attractive.”
Before I can respond to that dangerous statement, Iris calls from across the deck.
“Thaddeus! We need to discuss the final costume fitting! Dorothy wants to test the LED lights one more time to make sure they'll show up properly underwater!”
Sebastian, getting on my last nerve, immediately chimes in. “Perfect timing! I brought extra batteries for the LED components, just in case!”
Sloane pats my arm sympathetically. “Duty calls, Protector of the Deep.”
“You’re enjoying this far too much,” I growl.
“Maybe,” she admits. “But only because I love seeing this side of you—the one who agrees to wear blinking LED bowties and perform water ballet because three elderly women asked nicely.”
“Blackmailed,” I correct. “They definitely blackmailed me. Something about having photos of the Pilates incident.”
“Of course,” she says solemnly, then ruins it with another laugh. “Very intimidating.”
As I trudge back to the continuing costume debate, I can’t help but smile. Five years ago, being the center of attention like thiswould have been unthinkable. Enforcers worked in shadows, not spotlights.
But watching Sebastian’s proud expression, Aspen’s sisterly nod of acceptance, Sloane’s affectionate smile, and the Silver Swimmers’ genuine enthusiasm, I realize maybe there’s something to be said for stepping into the light.
Even if it means becoming the town’s most sparkly protector.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Sloane
