Page 31 of Chasing Ink
I almost went back.
But then she showered and went to House Of Ink.She even had dinner with Laine and Hailey.
And then her anger came.She couldn’t hold back how she felt and let it all out to our friends.She hates me now, so I stay away.I still call.I still care.I still love her, and I always will.But I will stay here.Close enough but far away.I won’t interfere in her life or try to win her back.
I gave her up because it was for the best.And it still is.
****
Ispend more hoursat the garage than any other person, even the owner.I work until I am too tired to even hold a wrench and then I go back to my sad little apartment and fall asleep.I’m trying to tire my body out to the point where I don’t dream of Skye, but I haven’t been able to yet.Every night since I walked away, I dream about her beneath the waterfall in Tahiti.Without fail.
I walk the four blocks from the garage to where I am living, tired to the marrow of my bones.Unhappiness has a way of zapping any passion from your life.I haven’t felt the urge to draw since that night—my art, my passion, pushed aside and forgotten.
There are only three things I live for now.
My job.
My dog.
My twice-daily updates when I call Laine.
I trudge up the stairs to my apartment only to freeze halfway.Sitting on the top step with Zeus at his side is my former best friend.I rub my eyes to clear away what must be a hallucination but when I open them again, he is still sitting there.
“Why are you here?”I ask, not moving a muscle.
“You need to come home.”
“I’m trying to but there is someone sitting in front of the door.”
“Alistair...”He stands but I cut him off.
“Don’t, Luke.Just go home.To your wife and your kid and your happy life and leave me to live what I have left.”
I push past him and into the apartment.I grab a beer from the fridge and drink half of it down.
“Are you really judging me for being happy?”he asks angrily.
“Yes.Yes, I am, you fucking asshole.”I turn and shout angrily.“You have everything you’ve ever wanted.I gave up the only thing I’ve ever wanted, broke the woman I love’s damn heart, and now I still get to deal with you.So, yes, I am blaming you for being happy.You have no right to be here and remind me of what I’ve lost.I know.I will never forget.”
“Ali, we need to talk.”
“Like you let me talk?”My anger is getting the better of me and I want to pummel him to the fucking ground, but I remain frozen to the spot.“You want me to sit here and listen to whatever bullshit...”
“I’m sorry,” he cuts in.“I was wrong.”
I frown.“What?”
“I overreacted.”
Taking two steps, I fall down on the only couch in the tiny apartment and stare at the man I used to call my best friend.He walks deeper into the apartment before leaning against the windowsill.For long moments neither of us speak.
“She’s my little sister, my only sibling.”He sighs before continuing.“Seeing you two that way...It was a shock.I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did, and I shouldn’t have let you leave.You need to come back home.”
I stare at him in disbelief.How is any of this supposed to fix the problem?The silence between us is thick.
“Will you say something?”
“There’s nothing to say,” I reply.“I know Skye, probably better than you do, and she’ll never forgive me.”
