Page 34 of Knot Their Safe Haven
I turned back, closing the distance between us in three quick strides.
He actually stepped back, surprise flickering across his features as I got directly in his face. This close, I could see every line around his eyes, every silver hair at his temples, every sign that time wasn't stopping for either of us.
"Fine lines," I whispered, my voice trembling with something that might have been rage or might have been heartbreak. "Under bags. Wrinkles. Grey hairs. I'm aging just like you, Knox, and neither of us are going to be here forever."
His grey eyes searched mine, and for a moment—a single blink—I thought he might finally say something that mattered.
"You may not be on a ticking time bomb," I continued, feeling my eyes burn with tears I refused to let fall yet. "But I am. That's my reality, like any other Omega. And honestly... deep, deep inside, my very soul wants to experience, just once, what it would be like for an Alpha to be in my life and take charge. Versus hiding me in shadows for when it's conveniently timed."
"I'm not ashamed of you."
The words were soft, almost desperate, and they might have meant something if actions hadn't spent twenty years proving otherwise.
I smiled, feeling a tear finally escape to trail down my cheek like an accusation.
"You sure don't act like it."
I turned away, not bothering to wipe away the tears that followed the first. Let him see what his cowardice cost.
That every time we had this conversation, another piece of me died.
The gym door closed behind me with a finality that echoed in my bones. Four-twenty AM, and I was done pretending this would ever change.
Over believing that love was enough when it came wrapped in conditions and qualifiers and endless waiting.
The hallway stretched before me, fluorescent lights flickering like dying stars, and I let myself imagine what it would be like to have an Alpha who'd chase after me. Who'd pin me against the wall and tell me I was theirs, no questions, hesitation, and no more fucking time needed.
But the hallway remained empty except for my shadow, and that probably said everything that needed saying.
Maybe the figure in the glass had been a hallucination after all.
Or a ghost of possibility—of the Alpha who'd seen me clearly all those years ago, who'd promised I'd stop running from what I wanted.
The irony was that I had stopped running.
I'd been standing still for years, waiting for men too scared to move forward with me.
The tears came harder now, silent sobs that shook my shoulders as I made my way through the empty building.
Each step felt like goodbye, though I knew I'd be back tomorrow.
And the day after.
And the day after that.
Because that's what we did—Knox and I, Malcolm and I, all of us—we performed this endless dance of almost but not quite, of maybe but not now, of love that wasn't enough to overcome fear. I bet it would be no different with Adyani if she was here like them.
All the same…
But goodness hell, I was tired of dancing.
So fucking tired.
I thought about Alessandro's eyes through the glass, real or imagined, and wondered what had become of the boy who'd been brave enough to speak his want without apology. Had seventeen years taught him to hide too?
Or was he still out there somewhere, taking what he desired without hesitation?
The morning air hit me like a slap when I pushed through the exit doors. Four-thirty AM in the city, that liminal time when night creatures headed home and day creatures hadn't yet emerged. I stood there in my sweat-soaked workout clothes, steam rising from my overheated skin in the cool air, and realized I'd left my jacket inside.
