Page 4 of Knot Their Safe Haven
I don't realize I've moved until I'm standing in front of her, close enough to see the exhaustion beneath the anger. My purple curls frame my face—I'd touched them up last week, maintaining that perfect lavender shade that makes Alphas do double-takes. But right now, I'm not the Rebel Queen or Scarlett or any of the masks I wear.
Right now, I'm just Velvet, watching another girl break the way I once did.
"You're reaching that limit, aren't you?"
"I've probably surpassed it one too many times." Her laugh is hollow, and watching her struggle to stand makes my chest tight. "But can you blame me?"
"I can't."
Because I remember my limit. Remember the day I decided I'd rather die than let them win. Remember Knox finding me in an alley, teaching me to fight back.
"Did you present an ultimatum?"
She explains how her mother sees boundaries as threats, how she's waiting for Astraea to find a pack just so they can spoilher. The audacity of it makes my blood simmer, but I keep my expression controlled.
"You don't think it's the heat suppressants? It's been two years now, hasn't it?"
Two years of poisoning herself to avoid what nature demands. Two years of fighting biology because the alternative—being vulnerable to any Alpha who catches her scent—is worse.
"If it is, I no longer have the energy to care." She tugs at her boxing gloves, letting them fall. "Like she said today, she's only waiting for me to meet my pack so they can spoil them."
"They can spoil her?" I can't hide my disbelief. "When she had five Alphas showering her with Dolce and Gabbana, Christian Louboutin, and every other luxury brand in the book, it wasn't enough? She wishes to now benefit from her Omega daughter?"
The fucking audacity. The sheer narcissistic delusion.
"Yup because she deserves it for raising me."
I shake my head, seeing the future that woman is building for herself—alone, bitter, wondering why all her children abandoned her when she never gave them anything but guilt and demands.
"She's going to be alone in this merciless world at this rate. She wants to grow old alone? Be an outcast from all her children. Does she not see her actions have consequences? That she's pushing you away?"
Am I talking about her mother or myself? These days, the line blurs.
Astraea tells me about her brother Leo's words, about being born into jealousy, about being unwanted from the first breath. My hands curl into fists, nails biting into my palms. If I ever meet this woman, I'll show her what happens when you break children for sport.
"Being reminded every day that your birth is but an error of your Omega Mother's state of mind is a constant reminder of what I DON'T want to become."
Smart girl. Turn the poison into purpose.
"You want children, Astraea." The words come out softer than intended as I touch her cheek, feeling the heat of exertion and emotion beneath my palm.
Because I see it in you—that capacity for love that survives despite everything. The way you care for Karma, for your dogs, for everyone in the Haven. You'd be an incredible mother.
"I know your Mother makes it difficult to even envision, but when you find a pack that aligns with you, together you'll be able to determine if children are the right path for you all."
"But..."
But what if they're accidents. What if history repeats. What if, what if, what if.
"Alphas are aware that most Omegas wish to give birth. To celebrate the ability to live and provide their offspring a loving home." I think of my own complicated relationship with motherhood, with Icarus who the world doesn't know is mine. "Our society makes it harder, especially with how the world has entered its dark ages, but with communication and the right pack, you'll discover what's best and if that includes children, it will transpire."
"I just don't want to bring a child into this world by accident. Or to be a single omega mother raising a child in a pack that's only around to enjoy the monthly Heats us Omegas can't avoid."
"I know." I wipe what might be sweat or tears from her face, not calling attention to either possibility.
Because I know that fear. Have lived it. Have a son most people don't know about because I was terrified of what it meant.
She talks about wanting children born from love, and I have to smile at her hope. Even broken, even hurting, she still believes in love.
