Page 119 of Resisting the Temptation
I roll my eyes, even as my heart flutters.
Ben, to my utter shock, continues to talk to Andy like we’re in a bar talking to a real person and not the cold cemetery talking to a slab of marble.
“Heard a lot about you, man. But Emma didn’t mention you were a Mustangs fan. Did you know your cousin married a former player for the team? Morgan Fowler. Emma probably told you already.”
“I told him last year when I met Morgan the first time. Andy’s such a big fan he even had cans of promotional beer. My parents found some in his golf clubs last year.”
Ben laughs and shakes his head. “That’s awesome. Did you drink it?”
I shake my head. “It expired like two months before he died. I don’t know what alcohol does when it expires, but I wasn’t going to try it.”
“I don’t blame you.” He turns back to face Andy. “Now, no one in your family asked me what my intentions with Emma are, so I’m just going to tell you. Andy, I’m head over heels in love with your sister. I’m going to marry her someday—if she lets me. I’m going to get her pregnant—if it’s what she wants. And I’m going to spend the rest of forever proving to her how much she deserves love. I’m going to spend the rest of my life watching her shine.”
My mouth drops open, and my cheeks heat. “That’s a bold declaration to a dead man you don’t even know.”
Ben shrugs. “It seems like he was the only family member who ever treated you well, so he’s the only one who gets to know my intentions. I’ll keep making declarations until it sticks in that gorgeous brain that I’m serious.”
“And you are? Serious?”
With no hesitation he answers, “Yes. But if you don’t want to say it yet, that’s okay. I can wait.”
He says it so surely. Like he justknowsI’m already completely gone for him. Like it’s not even a question ofifI’ll say those three little words butwhen.
He’s right, of course. I do want to say them. But not in front of my brother’s grave.
“Thank you. For being patient with me,” I finally say.
He leans over and places a gentle kiss on my cheek. “Anything for you, sweetheart. Now, is there anything else you want to say to Andy? I can leave you alone for a bit if you need.”
I look down at Andy’s name etched into stone which will hopefully last forever, even if I’d rather him be here. There are so many words I wish I could say to Andy in person. I wish I could tell him how much I love him. How sorry I am for how hard I pushed him to come back to church when I was younger, even though I was just following my mom’s directions. I wish I could ask him more about his thoughts before he passed away. I wish he were still here. I wish I knew why things ended the way they did. I wish I had answers.
But I don’t say anything like that—to Ben or my brother.
“No, I think we should get on the road. Love you, Andy.”
I pick up a stray pine cone sitting by me and leave it on his headstone, then Ben helps me up and holds my hand all the way to the car.
“How are you feeling?” he asks as we pull away from the cemetery.
“Ready to be home and go back to normal,” I admit, even though I don’t know whatnormalwill look like after Ben’s declarations of love.
Ben was patient with me as I peppered him with questions in between bouts of complete silence while we drove.
“What brought on this sudden change of heart?”
“It wasn’t sudden. It’s been building for weeks now.”
“Are you in love with me or are you in lust?”
“If we never had sex again, I’d be happy to spend the rest of my days simply holding your hand. Sex is just a bonus.”
“What if your dad thinks one of us should quit because it’s a conflict of interest?”
“Then I would look for another job.”
On and on, I voiced every question and doubt I had, and he never once sighed at me or looked at me like I was exasperating. He never told me I was being ridiculous or dramatic.
The bricks I thought were firmly cemented around my heart crumbled to dust with every surety he gave me, and now I know without a shadow of a doubt I can trust him with my heart.
