Page 45 of Resisting the Temptation
“I’ve heard that can happen, and I’ve had a few subs cry during impact play. You have nothing to be embarrassed about.”
Something akin to jealousy pinches in my stomach, but I brush it off. I know he’s had other subs. He’ll have others after me, so I have no reason to feel possessive over him.
This is temporary.
“Logically, I know that, but sometimes I forget. I grew up very religious. Sex before marriage is considered the second worst sin to murder, and masturbation follows close behind. Sometimes the purity culture bullshit creeps its way into my psyche and overwhelms me with guilt.”
“That’s… a lot to deal with.”
I snort. “Yeah, it is.”
It’s not even the worst thing I was taught, but I don’t need to get into that right now.
“I don’t think every other Saturday is working for me,” Ben says after a few minutes of silence.
My heart sinks. He’s already done with me. I roll away and sit up so he can’t see my disappointment, covering myselfwith the blanket.
“Okay.”
I feel him sit up too. “I think we should meet once a week.”
I turn around to face him, my pulse kicking up speed. “Are you sure?” I can admit I like the idea while also knowing it’s a bad one. More time together outside of work means more time my heart has to get attached.
His face doesn’t give way to his emotions. Of course it doesn’t. “I’m positive. It was a long two weeks, and I think it’d be good to have more lessons so we can… explore your kinks more.”
“Well, we can’t next Saturday because we have the Allridge party.”
Ben frowns. “Then we can leave the party together and come here.”
“I suppose that could work. Jordan can’t make it, so I was just going to take an Uber or something.”
His jaw tightens like it usually does when I bring Jordan up, which is odd, but whatever. “Okay. We’ll meet there and then come here after.”
I can’t help but feel like this breaks some of the rules of our agreement, but I don’t dare bring it up.
Chapter 22
Ben
Ihate parties. I hate that I’m expected to interact with people I don’t want to talk to and make small talk about their dogs, their kids, or their wives.
All while sipping expensive champagne and eating bland hors d'oeuvres.
My ex, Janessa, used to make me come with her to these events all the time because she was a reporter and needed to make connections. It caused more than a few fights between us. I can’t pretend to be nice to people I don’t know and don’t care about. More often than not, she’d be bustling around talking to everyone while I stood in the corner alone, counting down the minutes until we could leave.
She was upset I didn’t try harder to be personable and make connections, I was upset she left me to fend for myself in a room full of strangers.
It’s been five years since we broke up, and I haven’t gone to a single party like this until now.
My father gets asked to come to these events quite often, but I never accept his invitation to join him. He loves showing off Mamà and making new friends.
Mamà loves supporting her husband and getting to dress up.
I don’t know how I’m the product of them because I’d rather be at home watchingHow It’s Made.
The only reason I agreed to come tonight was because of the promise of what’s to come afterwards with Emma.
Emma’s running late, but she hasn’t texted me to tell me why.
