Page 51 of Resisting the Temptation
“Because I…” What? Care about her? She’d run for the fucking hills if I were to say that. “Because this puts a damper on our plans, and I know we were both looking forward to tonight. And I’m not heartless despite what you may believe.”
After a heavy sigh, she explains, “My mom texted me to tell me my grandpa is in the hospital. He’s had issues with his knees his whole life and refused to take care of himself properly. I guess his knee replacement eroded, and now there’s an infection? I’m not entirely sure other than it’s really, really bad. Somehow, he broke his leg in the hospital today, and they’re saying there’s nothing they can do other than make him comfortable while they wait for him to—”
Her voice breaks, but she clears her throat and continues, “I told my mom I was going to come to Utah so I could say goodbye, but she doesn’t want me to travel alone, but she also doesn’t want Jordan to stay at her house because it’s a whole thing. She told me there’s no reason for me to come anyway when I’ll probably just have to come for the funeral later on. I guess I don’t have to listen to her, but it’s not like I can afford to make two trips, let alone ask someone else to make both.”
The traffic lights reflect off of the shiny tears streaming down her face, and my heart cracks at the sight.
“She won’t even let me FaceTime him to say goodbye when she knows how much it hurts that I never got to say goodbye to my other grandparents or… other people I’ve lost.”
I give in to the urge to place my hand on her thigh this time, giving her what I hope is a reassuring squeeze.
“I’m sorry,Dulzura.”
Emma stiffens at the use of the nickname and squares her shoulders. “It’s fine. I’m fine. I’ll be fine. Death happens every day, and people move on. Talking to my mom just always rattles me. I’m fine. But I don’t know if I’m in the headspace for a scene tonight.”
The amount of times she said “fine” indicates she’s absolutelynot fine, but I don’t know how best to comfort her. I don’t even know if she’d want me to. I don’t know how to handle sad Emma.
Angry, fiery, happy, submissive—yes.
But not sad.
I hate it. Not because she’s showing her emotions, but because she obviously feels like she can’t show them around me, and I have no fucking idea how to help her. But like she pointed out, this isn’t what we are to each other.
“That’s okay. Plug in your address, and I’ll take you home. You said your roommate is home?”
“Yes. They should be back by now.”They?I thought she only had one roommate. She takes my phone and enters her address, which luckily isn’t far off from where we were headed.
The rest of the drive is silent, save for a few residual sniffles from Emma. The silence gives me time to thinkback on my realization earlier. The one where I realized I might want more from Emma than just a scene partner.
My question is, why doesn’tshewant more? She’s obviously an amazing woman anyone would be lucky to have, but from what I’ve gathered, she hasn’t been in a serious relationship in quite some time.
There’s got to be a reason, but I don’t think she’d tell me if I asked out of the blue. There would need to be a level of trust between us we don’t have.
Yet.
Except I don’t even know where to begin with earning her trust outside of our scenes. I’ve dug quite a hole for myself at work, one I’ll need a fleet of dump trucks to fill in.
We pull up in front of a row of quaint little one-story townhomes, which look like they were built in the early 2000s. There’s a wreath with fall leaves and sunflowers on a pink door matching the number of Emma’s address, and I recognize her little blue Honda Civic in the driveway.
“Thanks for the ride, and sorry for ruining our night,” Emma says quietly as she opens the door.
I grab her wrist gently before she can get out. “No apologies necessary. Let me know if you need anything. I mean it, Emma. If you need a distraction or someone to yell at, call me.”
Emma’s lips thin as she gives me a perfunctory nod, then she closes the car door and walks up the driveway to her house.
I wait until she’s inside before pulling away.
I spend the rest of the drive home trying to figure out how to make things more than just casual sex with mycoworker. Wanting more is going to cause complications I don’t know how to handle, and I don’t know if she’d even be open to it.
By the time I get home, all I know for certain is I want Emma in any way I can have her, but ideally, I want all of her.
If all she wants is sex, then I’ll give it to her, but I’ll be blurring the lines of our agreement just a smidge.
This is definitely not how I saw tonight going.
Chapter 25
Emma
