Page 89 of Resisting the Temptation
24 May 2015
“Hi, Grandma and Grandpa,” Emma says, like she’s just talking to someone in their living room. “I brought a visitor with me. His name is Ben. He’s my… coworker?”
I nudge her arm with mine. “I’m more than just her coworker.”
Emma cups her hand over her face like she’s trying to tell me a secret. “I can’t exactly tell them you’re my Dom, can I? They’d probably keel over if they found that out.”
I roll my eyes at her but cup my own hand over my face and reply, “I think they can probably hear you even if you do this, so you just told them anyway.”
“Fuck.Shit.Sorry, Grandma and Grandpa. But, to be fair, you guys weren’t exactly saints with the language. You probably think I didn’t hear you, but I did.”
Emma proceeds to tell them all about graduating college, how she finally landed her dream job at Rossi. She tells them about the plans for Derek’s project and how excited she is to be part of something so big.
Then she tells them how sad she is that her other grandpa is gone. She recounts how Grandpa Walter and Grandma Eileen came down when Grandma Blythe passed away to show their support and how she hopes they’re catching up with each other in the afterlife.
The wind, which was blowing softly when we arrived, has stopped completely, and I hear some cattle mooing in the distance. Emma speaks to them so freely, without a care that, to someone else, it might look strange to be talking to a headstone.
“Sorry I didn’t bring flowers; I didn’t plan on stopping by. But I’m glad I did. I miss you both like crazy. I hope you’re proud of me, even if I’m not living exactly the way you guys probably wanted when I was younger. I’m sure you thought I’d be married and have a gaggle of kids by now.”
Before she can say anything else, her phone rings. “Oh, this is my cousin, Hannah. I’m going to take this and be right back. That okay?”
“Go ahead, honey.”
“Hey, Hannah…” Emma stands and walks to the other end of the cemetery.
I clear my throat, feeling a little silly wanting to talk to a headstone. But if Emma can do it, so can I.
“So, you already know Emma and I are… coworkers. But I’m actually falling—havefallen—pretty hard for your granddaughter. I haven’t told her how I feel,though. She’s kind of skittish. I don’t blame her, not after everything she’s been through.”
I look over my shoulder to see Emma with her back turned, still talking on the phone, so I continue. “I haven’t felt this way about someone…ever. And I was engaged. I promise I’ll take good care of her. I just want her to know how worthy of love she is. I want her to let me love her.”
I hear the crunch of the grass as Emma comes back. “Okay, we can go.” She holds out her hand to help me stand up, and even though she’s so much shorter than I am, I let her help me up.
I interlace our fingers so she can’t walk away.
“Bye, Grandma and Grandpa. Love you.” She leads me to the car, our fingers still intertwined.
Chapter 43
Emma
Hannah’s call made me feel a flutter of excitement about being in Utah, instead of the dread I was feeling before.
Apparently, some of our other cousins who have left the church are coming to the funeral, and I’m excited to see them. Hannah invited all of us over for dinner on Thursday so we can catch up.
Hannah invited our cousin Talmage, too. He’s a firefighter, and I saw him a couple of times when he came out to California to help with the summer wildfires.
At first, I was nervous to hang out with him because I walked away from the church, and he’s one of the family’s golden boys. He never treated me like I was someone to be afraid or ashamed of. He never asked me about why I left—we never really talked about the church at all, honestly. I don’t know where he’s working now, but I know he moved back to Utah last August for good. Last I heard, his engagement ended.
Talmage, Elli, and Hannah are the only family members I truly feel comfortable around and trust.
Elli’s sister, Izzy, is supposed to be there as well. I don’t know her as well because she wasn’t even a teenager when I moved away, but I’m eager to get to know her now that she’s an adult.
“Everything okay?” Ben asks as we pull back onto I-15.
“Yeah, my cousin Hannah invited me over for dinner Thursday night. Some of my other cousins will be there too…” I told Hannah I’m traveling with a friend, and she said he’s more than welcome to join us, but doesn’t that feel…serious?
Ben clears his throat. “Do you want to go by yourself? I’m fine staying at the hotel alone.”
