Page 91 of Resisting the Temptation
“Monster smut,” I answer.
Ben’s eyebrows shoot above the rim of his sunglasses. “Pardon?”
“I read a book about a gargoyle who would turn to stone if he didn’t find a mate by his thousandth birthday.But hedidfind his mate, and she got to experience the pleasure of his vibrating tail. Then there was the part-man, part-gator one. I’m still trying to picture how big his gator dick is supposed to be andhowit fit inside a human.”
Ben looks mortified. “What the hell kind of books are you reading?”
I roll my eyes. “Don’t be a prude, Benjamin. There’s a whole community out there that loves monster smut. They even make monster-dick shaped toys. I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to be knotted and—”
“Knotted?Like… how dogs mate?”
I snap my fingers and point at him. “Exactly. They make cock rings that feel like knots, or they make dildos with knots on them. I feel like it would hurt, but I’ve never tried it, so I don’t know.”
Ben’s still got his eyes on the road, but his jaw is slack, and he keeps rubbing his chin.
“How the hell did you go from talking about your past relationships to thinking about monster dicks?”
I sigh, not wanting to get into it with him while we’re driving. “I wish I knew.”
Chapter 44
Ben
Despite how badly I want to have a conversation about our relationship in the car, I need to be able to look her in the eye and hold her hands while we do. So Emma puts on a playlist with more artists I’ve never heard of, and we’ve been alternating between comfortable silence and her asking me questions about myself.
I didn’t realize until she asked me about my childhood how much I’ve—unintentionally—kept from her.Iknow a lot about her because she talks a lot, and I like to listen to her, butshedoesn’t know much about me because I usually don’t open up to coworkers or people I’m having sex with.
But if I want Emma to see me as more than a fuck buddy, I know I need to open up to her. I’ve been inside of her, but she doesn’t even know what I went to school for.
I tell her how my childhood was as good as it could have been. We weren’t always well off. Papà and my Nonno worked long hours for most of my childhood so they could get Rossi off the ground. I tell her how Sundays were always my father’s one day off so he could spend time with us. In the warmest months, he’d take Mateo and me surfing while Mamà and Cici would build sandcastles on the shore. Other times, we’d take a drive through San Diego, and Papà would point out all of the places he was helping build.
I tell her I started helping out with the business when I was fourteen. I wanted to be part of something special. I wanted to help build things like my dad. Even when I was just laying pipes or digging trenches. Even sweating and covered in dirt, I knew it was what I was supposed to be doing.
Papà ran the business out of a small mobile office for years, slowly saving and expanding our reach until ten years ago when we were able to build the building we’re in now.
I tell her my Nonna lived with us after my Nonno passed away when I was thirteen. She only lived with us for four years before she passed as well. I never knew Mamà’s parents because they passed away before I was born.
I tell her Mamà and Papà are both only children, so I don’t have any cousins I’m close to. Only Mateo and Cici.
I tell her I went to San Diego State University so I could still be close to home and help out when I needed to. I got my bachelor’s in Construction Management with a minor in Accounting. Papà tried to sway me away from beingpart of the business because he didn’t want me to work there out of obligation. But when I thought about doing anything else, it never felt right.
“When I graduated from college,Papàmade me do a full-fledged interview in order to get the job. I had to give him a mock plan for a new build and convince him why I would be a vital asset to Rossi.” I chuckle, and Emma giggles.
“Ididn’t even have to do a full on interview.”
“Iknow.I think it’s part of the reason I was so upset he hired you. He wouldn’t even hire his own son without an interview, but he hired some random girl based on my best friend’s recommendation and a phone call. Now, I think he just wanted to make sure this job was what I really wanted.”
Emma bites her lip. “Are you still frustrated he hired me?”
“No. You’re a natural at what you do, honey. If I’m frustrated, it’s because I have to look at you all day every day and pretend I don’t know what your lips feel like wrapped around my cock.”
“Ben!” she scolds with a half-hearted scowl.
I shrug. I’m not lying. I’ve sat in my office and stared at her through the glass, picturing her plump lips wrapped around my cock more than once.
They’re very distracting. Especially when they’re covered in gloss or smiling or pursed in concentration. Basically all the time.
Even now, when I should be soaking up the beautiful sights of the mountains covered in reds and oranges and a light dusting of snow at the very tippy top, my mind is on the woman next to me.
