Page 94 of Resisting the Temptation
Do I think God is going to smite me down as soon as I step inside?
No.
But it’s still extremely uncomfortable.
Growing up in the church, I was taught the only places I could truly feel close to God and Jesus were in the temple, at church on Sundays, or in a “Christ-centered home.”
I always wondered why God or Jesus would want to join his followers in a place that feels so… boring. Before the 2000s, churches had more unique layouts and designs, but now, all the newer buildings look nearly identical. From the brick on the outside, to the carpet on the floors—and walls. From the paintings to the couches, everything looks like a carbon copy of the church down the street.
Temples are much the same, if the new ones I saw along the freeway are any indication. They’re just massive, gaudy buildings that scream, “We have too much money on our hands, so we’re building this structure to get attention.”
It’s hard to believe the same Jesus who trashed the temples in the Bible because people were using it as a market would be okay with the church spending their money on garish places of “worship.”
But what do I know?
When we get to the chapel, my other cousins are already sitting in the choir seats chatting quietly. Lauren climbs the stand, sits down at the piano, and starts arranging the music while Lacey greets our other cousins.
“You can go wait in the car. You don’t have to sit here,” I whisper to Ben.
He grabs my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. “I’ll be fine, honey. Sing pretty for me.” He gives me a wink before gently pressing his lips to the back of my hand, then releases me to go sit down on the first bench on the right-hand side.
Katelynn, Lacey, and Rachel’s eyes are darting from me to Ben rapidly, and I can tell they have questions. Lacey, unlike Rachel and Katelynn, doesn’t look disgusted. She looks like every other sixteen-year-old who’s crazy about love.
I would know, I was like her once.
Lauren clears her throat. “Grandpa wanted this arrangement ofNearer, My God, to Thee. Emma, do you know the lyrics?”
I nearly roll my eyes. People act like because I’m not a member anymore means I’ve forgotteneverythingdrilled into me growing up.
Music has always been a big part of my life. I learn lyrics faster than I learn math equations, and when you’re singing at least six songs every Sunday, you learn them pretty dang fast. I turned to a lot of the songs I learned for comfort during anxiety attacks and sleepless nights. I’m a little offended she assumes I’ve forgotten them.
“Yes. I know the lyrics.”
“Great. Let’s run through it and—”
Talmage half jogs, half walks the length of the chapel, doing a double take when he sees Ben.
“Sorry I’m late. I had to finish up some paperwork. Emma! Good to see you.” He wraps me in a hug, then whispers only loudly enough for me to hear, “I’m assuming the scowly man on the bench is yours?”
I nod against him.
“Nice. Well, let’s get started. Kyle, you’re taking bass?”
Kyle nods once.
“Emma and I will be singing soprano then.” Katelynn sighs like it pains her to sing the same part as me.
“And Rachel and I will take alto,” Lacey confirms.
After we all have our sheet music, we gather around the piano and run through it part by part.
We all were—or in Lacey’s case, are—in some sort of choir or music-related extracurricular in high school,which is why we’re the ones tasked with performing at the funeral.
Even though the only singing I tend to do is in the shower now, it’s easy to let the music take over. As soon as we run through it once, muscle memory kicks in, and we’ve got it down in twenty minutes.
I would say no one expects this to be a professional level performance, but Grandpa had a doctorate in music and headed the music department at one of the universities for years, so they kind of do.
We agree to run through the number one more time the day of the funeral, just to be safe, and then everyone packs up and leaves.
