Page 63 of Take Me Please, Cowboy
“The point is,” Josie continued calmly, “you can’t be upset with Ansley talking to her mom.Talking to a mom is different than talking to a girlfriend.Ansley called her mom because that’s what family is for, and it’s what we have always done.”She gestured to Hannah.“At least that’s what we do.We go to each other so we don’t burden you—”
“You’re never a burden,” he said.
“We just know you already worry a lot, and we want to make things better for you, so we talk to each other, and it helps.Talking something through helps more than you know.It’s something you could do more of.You always try to handle everything yourself.”
Rye did not need to do this with both of his sisters at the same time right now.Together they were an intimidating tag team.“Of course, Ansley is allowed to talk to her mom.I would never suggest otherwise.I’m not a total jerk.”
“You’re not a jerk at all,” Hannah said.“But you do think you know what’s best for everyone, and that’s probably a mistake.”
Rye rolled his eyes.
Josie leaned forward and touched Rye’s arm.“What did Ansley say that was so upsetting?”She held her brother’s gaze.“You can tell us.We’re part of the same family.”
“It wasn’t complimentary,” he said shortly.
“We figured as much.”Hannah glanced at Josie.“I mean, we’re not always complimentary about our situation.We’re poor.”
“That’s just it.Ansley didn’t realize how… rough things were.”He shook his head and rubbed a hand across his face, wishing he could forget what he’d heard, but he was afraid it would stay with him forever.“She also thinks she’ll play second fiddle to the rest of the family, and didn’t want to share me with everyone.Oh, and she most definitely did not want to live in my trailer.”
A faint smile hovered at Hannah’s mouth.“No one wants to live in your trailer.”
“Our house isn’t much better,” Josie added.“I hate it.I’ve spent my life coming up with plans and ideas to make it better, but there’s never enough money or energy.And a couple years ago, I realized I don’t want to fix up that house.It’d be better to start fresh, design something new.Our house will never be beautiful, no matter how much money we pour into it.”
“Yes, but it wasn’t just the house.If you’d heard her… she sounded so shallow.”Rye spit the words out as if they hurt his mouth.“And spoiled.She has grown up with far more than us, and she thinks—expects—to have the same standard of living when she marries.And since we know I can’t provide that for her, it’s better that it’s over—”
“Why can’t she have the same standard of living with you?You wouldn’t be the only breadwinner, Rye.She’d be bringing in money, too.”Hannah waited for him to say something but when he didn’t, she added, “She might even outearn you, and maybe that’s what’s bothering you.”
“No.It never even crossed my mind.”He drummed his fingers on the desk.“It’s great if she can pay her bills and then some.”
“Have you two ever discussed money?”Josie asked carefully.“Have you talked openly about what you earn and where the money goes?”
“No.”
“That could be part of the problem.”
Rye rose and stepped over Hannah’s legs that were blocking his path.“I would never question her about her income, or her expenses.”
“Why not?”Hannah asked.“Because I certainly would never marry Ron without a candid conversation about money—what he earns, what I expect to earn, and how we’ll budget.”
“That’s different,” Rye said.“Ron has money.”
“And so does Ansley.”Josie slid off the desk.“Did you see what her paintings were going for?After commissions she made over nineteen thousand with that one show, and she’s been booked for another show this winter.”
“I’m not comfortable discussing her money,” he said stiffly, going to the water cooler and filling up a glass.
“Because you think it’s something you’re supposed to be in charge of,” Hannah said.“You think it’s the man’s job.”
He turned around, gave his sister a hard look.“I’ve never said that.”
Josie’s brow furrowed.“Wouldn’t it be nice to know you don’t have to manage it all on your own?Wouldn’t it help knowing your person, your partner, could help support your family?”
He shook his head, uncomfortable, and unable to continue this conversation.His sisters meant well, but it was too much, too soon.“Ansley isn’t my person.The differences between our lifestyles are too extreme.I have a fixed amount every month to live on.I have a strict budget so we can make ends meet.Calhoun Roofing pays for the big stuff, and then my rodeo income is for the extras.Unlike Ansley, I don’t have the freedom to just do what I want—”
Rye fell silent, his words ringing in his ears.I don’t have the freedom to do what I want.
And then just as swiftly,but she does.
She’s free.Free to reject me, free to criticize, free to find someone better, someone with fewer problems…
