Page 18 of Take Me Please, Cowboy
“Not at all.I was with my boyfriend for three years.We met each other at UT.We were happy together, it was a good fit, but then he wanted to get married, and I didn’t.”
“And then what happened?”
“It ended, and it sucked.I’d hurt him and I loved him.He was the last person I’d want to hurt.”
“So why not marry him?”
She suppressed a shiver.“I wasn’t ready.And to be honest, I wasn’t sure he was the one for me, not forever.”She shifted away from him, scooting back on the bench, turning her body so she could face him.
They were now both straddling the bench, her knees against his knees, her blue eyes looking into his, trying to read him.“Forever is a long time, and people change.I was changing and he wasn’t, and he wanted the Ansley he met in college, but that wasn’t who I wanted to be.”
“Who did you want to be?”
“Independent Ansley.Self-sufficient Ansley.I wanted choices.I wanted to be in charge of my own destiny, not just someone’s pretty little wife.”
Her words felt like a punch to his gut, not because they were wrong, but because they resonated so strongly with him.He, too, wanted more choices.He craved freedom, but Rye wasn’t in a position to pursue his dreams.He’d shelved them for now, possibly forever.
“Have I shocked you?”she asked trying to read his expression.
He shook his head.“No.I’m impressed.It takes a lot of courage to say I want, and I need, and it takes strength to hold out for the right person who will give you those things.”
*
A half hourlater, Rye walked Ansley to her car.He was holding her hand, but they weren’t talking.They hadn’t said very much since that conversation about Clark and freedom and not just being someone’s wife.Ansley feared the conversation had gotten too honest, too real and had killed some of the evening’s magic and mystery.
She shouldn’t have mentioned Clark.There was no reason to bring up regrets and mistakes, not when she and Rye were just getting to know each other.
Ansley wished they could go back to the kiss and the sizzling seductive energy that had made her burn, her veins full of heat and need.The kiss had been amazing.He’d lit her up and she was still humming.
At her car, he waited while she unlocked it and opened the driver’s side door.
“Thanks for coming tonight,” he said.He was standing a good two feet back, thumbs hooked over his leather belt, hat on his head, the brim and the night shielding his features.
She hated for the evening to end this way.She wasn’t ready for the weekend to end, either, not when he would still be in Marietta two more days.“I’m sorry if I overshared—”
“You didn’t.”
He’d answered too quickly, and he seemed even more detached.
“Then what happened?We were having fun… weren’t we?”
“I—” He closed his mouth, jaw hard.
She lifted a brow, prompting, “You?”
“You’re incredible.”
“And?”
“I don’t want to lead you on.You deserve someone who is going to be around for a while, but that’s not me.When the rodeo ends, I’m on the road again, and once I’m gone, I’m gone.I won’t be coming back.”
She wished she could see his face, wished he’d let her in, but that apparently wasn’t going to happen.“I’m not looking for a commitment, Rye.I’m twenty-five, and very happy being single.Just because we had fun tonight, doesn’t mean I want you to put a ring on my finger, because I don’t.I could easily be married now, but it’s not what I want.I have plans, and dreams, and they don’t include becoming a wife or a mom anytime soon.”
He nodded but didn’t speak, and Ansley stood in front of her car, arms folded across her chest, struggling with indecision.
“I’d hoped to go watch you tomorrow if I wasn’t needed to drive Uncle Clyde home.But if you don’t want me in the stands—”
“Don’t say it like that.Don’t make this about me.I’m trying to protect you.”
