Page 36 of Take Me Please, Cowboy
Ansley flopped back in bed, feeling the shudder of nerves.Don’t panic.You’ve got this.This isn’t scary, it’s exciting.She had the opportunity to do something she’d always wanted.This was her dream.Nothing would stand in the way of her dream.
Maybe it was good that Rye was gone.She wouldn’t want to be at her easel all day and late into the night if he were in town.She’d want to be with him, just hanging out, feeling happy.He made her happy.Or he’d made her happy before he’d ended things.
*
Thursday morning Ryeentered the family home to grab some milk from the refrigerator since he was out in his trailer.His mom was in the kitchen with her morning cup of tea and her familiar notepad which she used as a weekly shopping list.
“Good morning,” she said smiling at him.
“Morning, Mom.”
“Looks like you need milk,” she said, adding another thing to her grocery list.
“Don’t worry about it,” he said.“I’m leaving after work tonight.I’ll get milk when I get back Sunday.”
“You’re sure you’re ready to compete again?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”he asked, returning the milk and closing the refrigerator door.
“You’ve been in a bear of a mood.I figured you’re hurt and keeping it to yourself.”
“I left Marietta in good shape.It felt good to win.”
“Then what is it?”
He sipped his coffee and fought for patience.He wasn’t in the mood to talk about anything right now.He wanted coffee and some quiet, or at least coffee and conversation that didn’t focus on him.“Things are good, Mom.”
“Are they?”
“Yes.We’ve a lot of jobs lined up for the rest of the fall, and we’re pushing to get those roofs done before the first snowfall.We’re more comfortable financially then we’ve been in months—”
“Then why have you kept your distance from us?”she interrupted gently, pushing her teacup across the small island’s old butcher-block countertop.“You’ve barely spoken to any of us since you came home Sunday.”
“That’s not true.I’ve played a video game with Dad and hung out with Jasper.”
“You haven’t been home for dinner all week.”
“Because I’m working late trying to get the Lewis roof finished before leaving tonight for Pendleton.”
She pulled the teacup back.“But when you do come home, you don’t eat.I don’t think you’ve touched any of the dinners I left for you in the oven.”
“Sometimes I’ve had a late lunch.Other times, I’m just not hungry.”
“Which would be fine if you had weight to lose.”
“I ride better when I’m lighter, Mom.”
“Perhaps.But you’re not sleeping, either.I see your light on in the trailer in the middle of the night.”
“What are you doing up in the middle of the night?”
“I guess neither of us can sleep.”
Rye sighed and rubbed his brow, pressing hard against the throbbing that wouldn’t go away.He couldn’t sleep, no.And he had no appetite.He had to hide his phone to keep from calling Ansley.It was killing him not talking to her.It was a fire in his chest, and it burned night and day.He didn’t know what was happening.He’d never felt this way.It wasn’t a good feeling.He didn’t like feeling sick to his stomach.He didn’t like feeling he’d failed her.He’d argued against the guilt because she’d been fine when they said goodbye.She’d smiled at him and sent him on his way.He could still see her standing in the middle of Cold Canyon Ranch’s driveway waving.Her calm had reassured him.She had her own life, and he had his.
Rye looked at his mom, feeling the weight of her gaze.Her eyes, a lavender blue, were filled with shadows and a sheen of tears.Only Josie had inherited their mother’s violet eyes.The rest of them had their dad’s brown eyes.
“Mom.Don’t.”Rye couldn’t handle it when she cried.Thankfully she rarely cried.“Things are fine.You’re getting yourself worked up over nothing.”
