Page 39 of Take Me Please, Cowboy
“It’s going to be a late night.”
“That’s alright.I’ll sleep in tomorrow.Anyway, tell me more about your show.When did you find out?”
“Last night.”She drew her coat closer.The weather was changing.Fall was coming.The nights were already so much colder.“I wanted to call you right away, but you said no contact.”
“You should’ve called me.This is big.”
She paced the porch, glad he couldn’t see her or her nervous energy.She didn’t want him to know just how much she’d missed him and how afraid she’d been that she’d lost him.“I know I’m supposed to leave you alone.”
“Don’t put it that way.”
“But you’d meant it that way.”
“This isn’t easy.I’m finding this hard, too.”
She leaned against the porch pillar.“Why can’t we stay in touch?Even if it’s just a little bit?A little bit would be so much easier than nothing.”
“Because I want you to meet someone there.”
“Well, I don’t.”
He laughed, half amused, half exasperated.“We can only be friends.”
“Then you shouldn’t have kissed me like that.You shouldn’t have made me feel like this.”
“Like what?”
“Like I can do anything.That I can be anyone.You gave me the feeling of possibility and I won’t give it up.”I won’t give you up, she added silently, straightening.
“You’re the one with magic in you,” he said, huskily.
She swallowed.“We need to change the rules.I don’t like your rules.”
“What rules are those?”
“That we can’t see each other and we’re not to stay in touch.It’s too hard, Rye.Cutting me off, cutting me out, hurts too much.”
He didn’t immediately speak.She heard him exhale at the other end of the line.“I don’t want you to hurt, babe.That’s the last thing I want you to do.”
“Then don’t close the door,” she whispered.“Let’s leave it cracked open.Let me hope.”
Silence stretched again.“Hope is a dangerous thing,” he said at length.
“Hope is hope.”
“Exactly,” he ground out.“We should be responsible.”
“How is it irresponsible to care?People need love.People need affection.Even tough guys like you.”She’d tried to sound playful, but the words stuck in her throat, the intensity of her feelings making the words come out sharp and raw.
“So, what are we supposed to do?”he asked.
“You said earlier that we’re friends.Well, let’s be real friends,” she said without hesitation.“Let’s talk.Communicate.Stay in touch.”
“But if we do, we will just get more attached.I’llget more attached.”
“And you don’t want to.”
“I don’t want to,” he agreed.
