Page 100 of Infinite as They Come
He stayed quiet and just kept guiding me further until we got to some of the wooden windows at the back of the kitchen. It let me see everything. The slowly setting sun, the glow lighting everything up. Endless flat land looked back at me, so lush and green and fresh. There were a couple looming oak trees amongst all that, tall and strong, with a smaller tree a little closer to the house.
Sawyer was being quiet and mysterious and borderline weird as he grippedme tighter. “You see that tree?” he asked. “Not the oak trees. The smaller one.”
I nodded. “I see it.”
“The people who were here before planted it a little while ago. A few years ago or something. It’s not big yet, obviously, but in about six months, you’ll start to see lemons. In about four years, those lemons will be even bigger. They’ll taste better too. And in about fifteen years, it’ll be nice and tall, the biggest it’ll get. It’ll have even more lemons by then. All year round if I take good care of it. I’ll pick as many as you like. I’ll pick them all day if you want.” He breathed out, the sound short and choked. “I wanted to give you the actual tree without the waiting time. A nice tall one that was ready to go. But this one? This one is gonna stay there, and it’s gonna keep on growing, strong and steady. In fifteen years, it’ll be there for you, for us.” Another breath. This one even shakier than the other. “If you want this place too. If you want to spend the rest of your life here, Holly, I’d be the happiest man in the world. I get happier and happier every day I’m with you, and I just wanna make you happy too. I wanna love you for the rest of my life and I promise I will. I swear to you, I’ll never stop.”
I blinked at the scene, at the tree, at the grass, at the sky, at everything, trying to register his words. “What on earth have you been doing behind my back?” was all I could manage to whisper out.
“It was just one little secret…”
He spun me around and let me look up at him. There was something on his face I couldn’t quite read. Not just nervousness. Something else. Something bigger.
“Why’d you bring us here?” I asked. “And why do you look like you’re about to pass out?”
He laughed, the sound low and a tiny bit unsure. His hands grasped mine, his long fingers rubbing soft circles at my skin. “I love you a lot, Holly.”
I smiled. “I love you a lot too.”
“I brought us here,” he said, one hand reaching up as he brushed a thumb against my cheek, “because I can’t ever imagine not loving you. I can’t ever imagine stopping. I love you more and more every day. I’m so lucky I get tohave you. That you’re mine. That I’m yours. That you’re my girl. How did I get so lucky? I ask myself that all the time…”
“You’re gonna make me cry,” I whispered.
“Don’t cry. My sweet girl,” he said, pecking my lips softly, “I hate it so much when you cry. I hate it when I’m not with you. I hate that I ever spent time not loving you, and I wish so bad I could go back and change things. Maybe I could get more time hearing your laugh and seeing your smile. I love that smile so damn much…”
“Stop,” I said, pressing my face into his chest, and I got lost in the feeling for a second. His broad chest and his soft shirt and the way he smelled and how much I loved him. His hand found the back of my head and I stared up at him, his green eyes locked right on to mine.
“I’m the luckiest guy in the world,” he drawled. “And I know it too, ‘cause I get to call you mine. Someone so smart and kind and sweet and beautiful. My perfect girl. How lucky am I that I got the chance to fall in love with you? I wouldn’t ever wanna fall in love with anyone else.”
“I’m lucky too,” I said. “So lucky that it’s you.”
“I love you so much, Holly. So much it hurts,” he said, his long fingers pushing through my locks. “I feel it everywhere. From top to bottom. Heart and soul andeverything. It’s you, Holly. Just you. Forme, it’syou. You’re all I need. The girl I want to wake up to every day. The girl I want to kiss for the rest of my life. The girl I want to paint forever. The girl,” he said, swallowing hard, “who I’ll never, ever stop loving. And I want this place—this home—to be ours. It’s got the space for all those flowers you like out the front and the lemon tree in the back and you just say it, just say the word and tell me what you want, and I’ll build it. I’ll make it, I’ll give it to you, I’ll spend all my life making this place perfect for you. We can make so many good memories here, and I’ll paint every last one for you. I’ll cover every inch of these walls with those memories. With places we go, with days we spend together, with your pretty face. You’re the best muse a man could have, you know that? Imagine waking up every day to the most beautiful girl in the world. To those eyes and that smile. No one but me gets that. You’re mine, and I’m yours, and I’d do anything to make sure it stays that way.”
“Sawyer,” I said, eyes filling quickly with tears. Those sweet words and his warm voice and the way he was looking at me with all that adoration in his eyes was too much. I had to remind myself to breathe. I actually managed to do it, but it was all uneven and shaky, and even my hands were trembling a little. Sawyer grabbed them, and I was thankful for his touch, because he was the only thing keeping me from passing out. I started shaking even more when he sunk down to one knee, though.
He let go of my hands and pushed one of his into his jeans pocket, pulling out a red velvet box, and it was everything in me to hold back a cry. His own hand shook as he opened up the box, and there sat the prettiest ring I had ever seen in my life. My breath caught in my throat as I took it in: a sparkling halo ring, the round diamond at the center framed by smaller, equally beautiful little diamonds that shimmered there in front of me. So elegant and classic and perfect.
“I bought this ring a year ago, but I didn’t want to ask you this without giving you a proper home,” he said, his rough voice that tiny bit uneven. “It’s the most important question I’ve had to ask anyone, and I thought about doing this every day back in New York, but I wanted to do it right, I wanted to make this as perfect as I could, because that’s what you deserve. All I can give you is my love, Holly, and I feel that love for you every single day. I just wanna make you happy. Just wanna make you smile. I’m pretty sure that’s all I’ll ever need for the rest of my life too. Your love, that smile. That’s it for me, Holly. I don’t need a million bucks or some big house. Just… you. I just need you. I look at you and know that all I want to do is just spend my life with you and wake up with you in this house and see that ring on your finger and watch that tree grow together. How could I ever want anything but that? But you? My beautiful, perfect girl. I’ve loved you since I was eighteen, and I love you even more now, and now in fifteen years, when that tree is taller than this house, I’ll love you even more, and I won’t stop. Fifteen years, twenty, thirty. I won’t ever stop, Holly.”
My lips trembled, my heart racing too fast, too wildly. It all made sense in a flash. All the secrets and the long days without him and the things he couldn’t just blurt out and tell me. I wanted to reach down and pull him upand feel his arms wrapped around me. I wanted to kiss him forever in this home.I wanted everything he said.
“Holly,” he said, pulling in a deep breath, “will you marry me?”
“Yes.” The word left my lips without a single hesitation, using my too shaky free hand to wipe at the tears that just wouldn’t stop. “Yes, of course, Sawyer.”
Sawyer slid the ring on my finger and all I could think about was how absolutely positivelyrightit felt. Like it was always meant to be. He stood up and I wasted no time pressing my hands on either side of his face, pulling him down to my level and kissing him deep and hard and fast and God, I was in love with him. So in love and so happy that it was him and no one else. Our tongues met, his hands on my waist, pulling me tight to him. It was a heated mess. Limbs everywhere. Tongues dancing together. Little whines from me and deep groans from him.
Strong hands lowered to my hips and he picked me up with ease, my legs wrapping around him as he kept me steady. He was moving us through the house, our bodies intertwined as he led us back the way we came from, back to that room we were in before with the sunlight pouring in through the windows. Sawyer laid me down on the floor gently, getting settled in between my legs. Reaching up, my fingers curled against his shirt collar, tugging him right to me as our lips crashed together.
“I’m gonna love you forever,” he murmured against my mouth. “I will, Holly. I swear I will. Gonna love you for the rest of my life. No one’s ever gonna love you like I can.”
I couldn’t even bring myself to find the words to respond to him with. It was too much, all that warmth and light running through my whole body as I just kissed at him, my hands stuck in his hair, his broad body pressed right up against mine. My heart was beating wildly, the feeling of his ring there on my finger. His. I wanted to be Sawyer’s forever. I felt his hands sliding up my dress and I let him take it off, and I was just about to yank off his flannel shirt when he pulled away from me.
“Wait,” he said, getting on his knees. Taking off his shirt, he folded it up, lifted up my head, and rested it underneath me before guiding me down tothe little makeshift pillow.
“Such a gentleman,” I said with a bright smile.
Laughing, he crashed his lips back to mine, tongue slipping into my mouth as I spread my legs wider. His hands were everywhere. Hair, face, waist, hips, before they undid my bra. I felt his lips ghost against my neck, soft and featherlight but firm all at once. They lowered and he sucked a nipple into his mouth, teeth biting down just that little bit, just enough to have my back arching. His eyes stayed locked to mine as his tongue flicked out over the other one, my lips parting to let out a moan I couldn’t fight off.
