Page 25 of Infinite as They Come
“It’s not your job to fix this, sweetheart,” I said, using my other hand to lift the cigarette away from my lips, releasing a puff of smoke. “You don’t need to do that. I’m just… trying to deal with all of it, and I don’t know where to start. We were supposed to be celebrating all that hard work you did. God, we were supposed to be in a different city by now. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t say that. You don’t have to be sorry.”
“But this whole thing, this whole trip, it got all messed up and… And now I don’t even know where to start, how to fix this, how to give you the thing I was meant to give you, the thing I said I would.” I exhaled sharply, letting a stream of smoke escape me. “Fuckin’ low budget vacation in a motel…”
“Avacation,” she corrected, voice stern. “And I’m lucky I have a boyfriend that’s so sweet and thoughtful and goes out of his way to give me something so special.”
I sighed. “I just wanted this to be good for you. And now look at it. I’m sorry.”
“No.” Her hand squeezed at mine. “Don’t be sorry. It’s just… a little pit stop along the way. That’s it. You don’t need to rush anything. Take as much time as you need.”
“This trip was supposed to be for you…” And for me to find that damn house, but even after looking all day, I still hadn’t managed to track it down.
“We’re still together. We’re still doing what I love.”
“Right. You love cheap motels.”
“I told you: they’re cozy.” She smiled. “And this pool’s pretty big too…”
“The one at your house is double this size.”
“Size doesn’t matter.”
“I’m not falling for that propaganda.”
“That’s not something you need to be concerned about.” She giggled, one of her hands reaching out to land on my free hand that sat on my thigh. Fingers soft and light, she traced them against my skin. “Seriously, though, are you okay?”
“I’m… I don’t know. I guess the shock’s worn off now. At least there’s that.”
“Have you thought about what you want to do?” She chewed at her bottom lip a little. “Do you want to talk to her?”
I paused, letting that question linger. I wanted to. I didn’t want to at the same time. “Still feeling a little conflicted on that…”
“You don’t have to decide right now.”
“Iwantto decide right now, though. I just wanna… you know, rip the Band-Aid off. Get it over with. Make up my mind before I think about it too much.”
“Don’t rush this, Sawyer.”
But I was too impulsive. Always had been, always would be, probably. I didn’t like just sitting around and waiting on my thoughts to catch up and settle into place and make sense. I wanted answers and I wanted them now, but I didn’t know how to get to them.
I nodded at the notebook on the table. “Were you working? I interrupted, right?”
Her eyes followed mine, shaking her head. “Oh, I was just making some notes. You’ll never believe who I got to talk to today.”
“Who?”
“Diana Olivia Button.”
I blinked at her. “Who’sthat?”
Her eyes rolled. “You’re so uncultured. She was a huge film star back in the 60s and 70s, and guess what? She lives right on top of us. Aren’t we lucky?”
“Gotta say, I don’t know who that is.”
“Yeah, I only just discovered her today,” she deadpanned. “I met another woman who lives here. Her name’s Clara, and she introduced me to some people who live around the motel. There’s some really interesting characters around this place. Diana’s so sweet. She used to live in Los Angeles. She was in a lot of horror movies back in the day. Hollywood didn’t really work out for her. She’s gonna let me interview her next week.”
“That’s what you were doing today?” I asked. “I’m sorry I left. I just…”
