Page 27 of Infinite as They Come
“Stop, oh my God,” she said, giving my chest a playful smack. “You’re scaring me.”
I chuckled, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “I’m just kidding.”
“So dark and mysterious,” she said, her nails running across my scalp. “It’s very attractive.”
“Is it?”
“Yes. And a little scary, but that’s also strangely attractive.” She narrowed her eyes suddenly. “But underneath all of that, there must be a softer side to you. A brighter side. What about love?”
“What’s that?”
“Shh. Don’t you believe in true love?” she whispered. “In finding the person you’re supposed to spend the rest of your life with?”
My eyes stayed stuck on hers. I did, and she was the only one that I wanted to do that with. It was her and no one else but her. My fingers pressed up against her waist a little tighter, pulling her in closer, my lips brushing along hers.
“Yeah, I believe in love,” I murmured. “I believe in… finding someone who’s your home. Who makes every day better and warmer. Not everyone gets to have that, but I’m lucky I do. That I get to come home to her. That I get to have her fall asleep in my arms and hold her all night, that I get to wake up with her in that same spot—right there with me. Like it’s where she belongs, and it’s like I belong with her too. It was pretty easy to fall in love with her too. After I stopped being so stupid, I mean. It was real easy falling in love with her after that. ‘Cause she’s so sweet and warm and beautiful and perfect. How could I not believe in love when it’s her?”
I caught just a second of her big eyes getting all glassy before she buried her face in the crook of my neck. She let out a short breath that was all quick and hitched, and it made me hold her closer, pulling her flush against me.
“You alright?” I said.
“I’m okay.” She nodded, her nose brushing against my neck. “I just love you so much. I can’t even imagine doing this with anyone but you. I don’t even wanna think about it.”
“I love you too,” I said, putting the cigarette out on the ashtray that sat on the table near us. I quickly circled my other arm around her, pulling her in as close as I could get her. “Love you so much, Holly.”
“You’re the strongest person I know. I mean that,” she whispered. “I don’t know anyone like you. Someone who gives so, so much. Who works this hard. Who’s been through it all but is still standing so strong. I’m so lucky to be yours, Sawyer.”
My throat got all dry and tight. They were sweet words, kind and comforting, and she always knew what to say to lift that weight off of me. One look at her was all it usually took to chip away any stress or worries or pain. The world stayed still for a long, perfect moment. Just her in my lap, her body all warm, the scent of her perfume and shampoo surrounding me. Heaven on earth, that was what she was.
Her words sunk in more and more, settling over me as her nose nuzzled into my neck. She believed in me. She always did. She saw something no one else could—something I couldn’t even see sometimes. And if Holly thought I was strong, then couldn’t I do it? Couldn’t I see her? Couldn’t I speak to the woman I hadn’t talked to in so many years I had almost lost count?
Maybe I could do it. I had to.
Chapter 8
Sawyer
My mom lived in a nice house on a nice street in a nice part of the neighborhood. Nice by my standards at least—when compared to what I was used to. I had checked and rechecked the address a good five times now. We were in the right place, though. Without a doubt.
I kept thinking about how close she had been to me the whole time. Just a few hours away. Had we ever crossed paths, even if it was just for a second? Had I ever walked past her and not realized it was her? How different did she look from my memories? Would I recognize her, would she recognize me, would she hurt me all over again if I let her back into my life?
A gentle hand on my thigh brought me out of my thoughts. Turning, I took a look at Holly. Tiny smile on her face and eyes all warm and deep and so damn pretty, she squeezed at my thigh.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
I nodded. “Just nervous.”
“Whatever decision you make will be right. Either way, I’ll be here for you. I’ll be by your side no matter what you choose.”
My hand found hers and I flipped it over, letting our fingers interlock. “I’ve spent most of my life without her. Part of me can’t believe she’s one knock on the door away. Doesn’t feel real.”
“Do you want it to be real?”
“I… I think so.”
“If it’s too much, you can do this later. You know where she is now, sothere’s always a day where you can come back. Maybe a day that feels more right.”
“I think today feels right. If not today then when, right?” I brought her hand up to my mouth, kissing at her soft skin as my eyes found hers. “If you’re here, I can do it. I can do anything with you next to me.”
