Page 57 of Infinite as They Come
“They broke his glasses. He’s gotta get new ones now, but other than that… he seemed pretty excited. He got a couple punches in.”
“I guess those fighting lessons helped then. Did you talk to your mom? Or Kurt?”
“Both.”
“And they’re…?”
“They took it better than I was expecting. They asked me to dinner. This weekend. The both of us.” His tongue clicked a few times. “You wanna go?”
“Doyouwanna go?”
“Yeah, I think I do. Part of me was worried my mom would freak out. You know, it’s kinda my fault,” he said, brows pulling together. “I’m the one who taught him to fight back, to stand up for himself, but they both seemed pretty proud of him.”
“It’s good he’s sticking up for himself,” I said. “And that he has someone like you in his corner. It’s not your fault those kids are so mean to him. You know what he’s like. So sensitive and quiet and sweet. Kids see that as a target.”
“I just want them to leave him alone. He’s tougher than he knows. Those kids broke his glasses but he still went down fighting. In a few years he might be able to take me in a fight.”
“Hm, I think he gets that tough streak from you,” I said, leaning in a little closer. “He’s lucky to have someone like you as his big brother.”
He hummed, pressing his lips to mine softly. His long fingers flexedagainst the small of my back before he raised them to the back of my head, cupping me there as he drew me in to him. My head turned, the side of my face resting against his chest. He was so broad, so steady, so familiar.
“What is it?” I asked with a soft laugh, his other hand still clinging to mine.
“Just…” He released a long breath. “Just need to feel you close, baby. I always need to feel you close. It’s the best feeling, you know that? Best thing I’ve ever felt in my life.”
The radio crackled in the corner, the words of whoever was hosting coming out so muffled and garbled that I could only make out the wordsLulu WallsandCarter Family, and then the gentle sound of a strumming banjo hit my ears. It was some old timey bluegrass song, all endearingly grainy.
“Dance with me,” he murmured.
I smiled. “Hm?”
“Dance with me, princess. Please. I need it.”
Sawyer started to sway my body softly, a smile growing on my face as I stayed there nestled to his chest. He kept his hand there against my head, his other still practically glued to my hand in that tiny motel room, the floor creaking and whining as he rocked us side to side. He really did feel like home. So warm and solid, right where I belonged, and I could feel myself melting against him. It was in his arms that I felt the safest, like nothing and no one could ever get in the way.
“I like this song,” he said, lips pressing to the top of my head. “Haven’t heard it in so long.”
My eyes slowly closed as I took it in. I had never heard it before. The banjo carried on with the upbeat rhythm, the mixture of voices flowing into the room laced with the kind of sincerity you could only hear in a song that old. I could hear Sawyer murmuring out the lyrics as he slowly and carefully rocked me back and forth, and I found myself quickly getting lost in the moment. Nobody but us existed as he held me to him, my head laid right up against his broad chest, his woodsy scent there in the air, the moment far too perfect and magical that I couldn’t hold back my happy sigh. He was whispering out the words so quietly, so softly, like he almost didn’t want meto hear them, but it was the next line he let out that made my heart flutter and stop all at the same time.
“If she’ll only be my wife, I’ll live happy all my life,” he murmured.
It made me cling to him a little tighter, his name leaving my lips in a too soft murmur. My shaky fingers curled against the material of his shirt, like I needed to tug him in closer and feel more of him. He was cradling my head, just his thumb tracing invisible patterns against my hair. My chest was tightening as he swayed me a little more, that small motel room feeling like the warmest place in the universe.
It was the small moments that felt big. They were all I needed, and I could imagine us doing that for the rest of our lives. Dancing to old songs in old rooms, our bodies pressed tightly together, his arms wrapped around me, me feeling so loved and safe and at home. Sawyer was my home. I wanted him to be my home forever.
Slowly, he pulled away just enough so that his forehead rested against mine. “Hey,” he whispered, lifting up the hand that had been on the back of my head. With a gentle touch, he used his thumb to wipe away at some tears that I didn’t even know were there. “Shh. It’s okay, princess.”
“You’re the only one who could make me feel like this,” I said softly.
“Like what?”
“So…” I didn’t even know how to say it. “So cherished and safe and loved. This is all I could ever want. You and us, doing this. Just this. It makes me so much happier than anything else ever could.”
For a long moment, he just stared. His hand let go of mine and cupped my chin, thumb stroking at my wet cheek, his lips caressing against mine so softly, almost teasingly, just barely touching me. I leaned in close, so eager to feel him, and he gave me what I wanted: his tongue pushed in between my lips and I let out a soft whine in an instant, my fingers clinging on to his shirt like I was clinging on to the moment. It was complete peace surrounding me as our tongues met. Slowly, softly, the feeling lingering, that song still playing there in the background, the strumming of the banjo and that country twang of whoever was singing the only noise in the room.
“You’re too beautiful,” he said when he pulled away from me. “You knowthat? My perfect, beautiful girl. I’m so lucky I get to love you. And I will for the rest of my life. Every day, forever, that’s all I ever wanna do. Just love you.” Leaning in, he pecked my lips. “Take care of you.” Another kiss. “Keep you safe.” One more kiss. “Make you the happiest I can make you. I’ll do everything I can to make you happy, Holly. To make you smile and laugh. Your laugh is my favorite sound in the world and I’m so damn grateful I get to hear it. I’m gonna look after you. I will. I can. IpromiseI can. I promise I’ll do everything to make sure you’re looked after, Holly. I don’t care how long it takes or what I have to do, I swear I’ll be the man who always keeps you safe.”
I already knew that, but his words were making me a little weak in the knees, my fingers pulling at his shirt as he pressed a kiss to my forehead. It was too easy to melt into his touch. In the way he held me, firm but gentle. In the way I felt so secure, so safe, so loved. That song carried on playing, the noise still fuzzy and grainy, but the words felt like they had been crafted for me and Sawyer, for this moment where we stayed so tightly pressed together. We were so far from home—Dallas, New York, wherever—but it didn’t even matter. It still felt like home and familiarity, like we were living in a memory I’d be looking back on with a smile on my face and a tear in my eye years from now.
