Page 91 of Infinite as They Come
“Ah, yes. Your house journey. I take it that’s not going so well?”
“It’s fucked from top to bottom,” I blurted out. Looking over my shoulder, I scanned the area for Spencer. Was he around? “My bad. Sorry. Where’s Spencer? Are you and Mom hanging out here again?”
“Not the both of us. I was dropping Spencer off at Tommy’s. They’re gonna watch wrestling. And that boy swears like a sailor, so Spencer’s gonna hear it, anyway.”
“Right.”
“You’re driving back to Dallas?” he asked, brows furrowed. “Right now? It’s a bit of a drive.”
“I don’t care as long as I get to Holly at the end. I need to fix this. I need to make it better.”
“She’s lucky to have someone who cares about her so much.” He raised a hand, letting it rest against my shoulder. “Me and your mom can see the way you look at the girl. The way she looks at you too. Sounds like you’ve got a lot on your plate right now. I’m sorry things haven’t gone how you planned, Sawyer.”
It felt weird to have that comfort from him. Kurt was a good guy, and I really wasn’t used to that shit. Almost every interaction with me and my dad ended in bruised eyes and split lips, so to have Kurt look at me like hewas ready to throw his arms around me for a hug was a strange concept. Strange, but good.
“I didn’t realize it’d be this hard,” I admitted.
“The whole house dilemma, or being in love?”
“No, being in love with Holly is the easiest thing in the world,” I said, giving my head a shake. “It’s the best thing too. I’m the lucky one. I don’t know what I did to get someone like her, but she’s it for me. She’s perfect. And I just want to get to that next part of our lives, I want to find us that home that’ll be our forever, but it just feels like fucking everything keeps getting in the way.”
He hummed. “I suppose bumping into your mother has made it a little harder. You probably imagined this all going so differently in your head.”
I laughed, all dry and humorless, my eyes scanning the parking lot. “Yeah, I had it all planned out in my head, and it definitely wasn’t supposed to happen like this. I’m just… I’m just so in love with her. I didn’t even think it was possible to be this in love with someone, but she’s just… She’s every thought I have. I wake up, and it’s her. I go to sleep, and it’s her. I paint, her. I breathe, her. And I knew from the second she told me that she wanted to be mine that I couldn’t give her every last thing. I couldn’t give her the world like I wanted, all those things she’s used to, but I could still love her, and I do. I love her so much it hurts, but lately? Lately it just feels like no matter what I do, I mess up. I thought I was doing the right thing…”
“Hey,” Kurt said, voice lowering to a kind, soft whisper. “You’ve got a good head on your shoulders, you know that?”
“It doesn’t feel like it.”
“Being in love is easy, just like you said. But love itself? It’s hard. It gets messy, complicated. Things don’t always go as you planned. There’s a lot of hard parts sometimes.”
“She makes the hard parts easy. Me and Holly have been through a lot of hard parts. But the good parts? They’re the best. They make it all worth it. She’s worth everything.”
“Your mom keeps talking about the way Holly looks at you,” Kurt said. “Like she’s got stars in her eyes or something. I see it too. She really doeslook at you like you hung the moon. I can tell you feel the same way about her.”
“I’ve been messing up lately,” I muttered, eyes lowering to the ground. “I always think I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing with her, but then I manage to mess it up.”
“She makes you loopy.” Kurt grinned. “If that’s not love, then I don’t know what is.”
“Yeah…” I said, voice trailing off. Holly had always made me loopy—from the goddamn get go too. Maybe we were always meant to fall in love.
“Go get your girl, son,” he said, squeezing at my shoulder. His eyes widened suddenly, snatching his hand away from me like he had been burnt. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”
“You can call me that.” I nodded. “It’s fine. It’s… okay.”
He smiled, soft and warm, his hand back there on my shoulder. “Your mom was right when she said you’ve turned into a man. Strong, hardworking, determined. Holly’s a very lucky girl.”
“Nah, I told you, that’s me,” I said, taking a few steps backwards. “Look, I’m sorry, but I gotta go.”
He nodded eagerly. “Go, go. Go find her.”
“Thanks for the talk,” I said, still keeping up with those backwards steps. “And looking after my mom. And… everything.”
“Just go!” He laughed. “And drive safe, okay?”
“Yeah, okay!” I waved, running over to my truck, my brain still packed with thoughts of Holly.
My hands gripped the wheel tight as I moved onto the main road. It’d be a long drive. Three hours, maybe three and a half if I had shitty traffic, but it was worth it if I got to her in the end. I was left wondering how long Holly had been gone and what she was doing. Back in Dallas, back at home. I could imagine her dad’s words so clearly:I knew he’d mess up. I told you so. This was always going to happen.
