Page 94 of Infinite as They Come
“I should have stayed. I should have talked to him about this. I mean, I’vetriedtalking to him about it, but he won’t let me in, he won’t tell me what’s on his mind. But it was dumb of me to leave like that. That was a mistake…”
“You can’t just run away when things get a little hard.”
I shook my head. “I wasn’t running. At least it didn’t feel like that when I was leaving…”
“You didn’t bring any bags with you, right?”
“No. Not a single one.”
“So, you’re not staying then. You’re going back today.”
They were statements, not questions. I hadn’t packed a thing. Coming back to Dallas wasn’t supposed to be some permanent change. “I want to go back today and see him if that’s what you mean.” I nodded. “I was just feeling… a lot. Especially last night.”
He hummed, giving one of my hands on the table a pat. “I get it. You needed some time on your own. I’m glad you came here. You can always come here when you’re feeling upset.”
I nodded. “Thanks, Daddy.”
“And you know you can stay here as long as you want. All day, until tonight, tomorrow. After that. This is still your home. Always will be.”
My head shook. “No, no. I’m going back. I just needed some time. I just needed someone to talk to, and I guess I miss you and Mom as well. I wish she was here too. It’s nice to be able to talk to you face to face about this kinda stuff.”
“We miss you too.” Slowly, his head tilted, eyes drifting over to the large windows overlooking the backyard. “I won’t act like I know Sawyer as well as you do, but I’ve seen enough of him to know that he’s not a dishonest person. I don’t like that he lied to you, and I don’t expect you to ever put up with anything like that, but… maybe he had his reasons, Holly.”
“He told me to trust him, and I do. I trust him with my life, I just… I just don’t appreciate being lied to. And he probably doesn’t appreciate me just leaving.” I sighed, pressing my hands to my face. “I shouldn’t have done that. I left him a note, but that was it. I messed up.”
“Hey.” The sound of the chair moving against the smooth floor below us hit my ears, and then I felt my dad’s soft arm wrapping around my shoulders. “You’re allowed to have space. You’re allowed to come home to your mother and me whenever you feel like this.”
“I should have stayed with him, Daddy.”
“Why don’t you take a couple hours to just take it easy? Hm? Just have a sit down. You want to go into the living room? Or sit outside? It’s a niceday out. You can sit in the solarium. It might help you think.”
I gave him a little smile as I pulled away from him. “Plant room.”
His brows furrowed. “Hm?”
“It’s called a plant room.”
“That flight made you loopy. Why don’t you get some fresh air?”
“That might be a good idea.”
“You guys have been together too long and been through too much to not figure this whole thing out.”
“I want to figure it out,” I said, hating that tight feeling forming in my chest. I was dumb for leaving. “I should have talked to him. It’s just that talking to him lately doesn’t get me any answers. It just makes me more confused and worried, and I hate feeling that with Sawyer. He never makes me feel like that. He always makes me feel so safe and loved.”
“Hey, you’ll get through this,” he said, voice firm as he squeezed at my shoulder. “You will. The both of you. You’ll talk and work it out.”
He sounded so sure too. I could hear it in his voice, his words soft but steady. My father had been wrong about Sawyer in the past, but this? This time, he sounded certain.
Chapter 26
Sawyer
The was nothing worse than knowing Holly was sad. When those Bambi eyes got all filled with doubt, when her lips were trembling as she held back a sigh, when her hands rubbed at her arms like she needed someone to hold her. It should have been me doing that. Should have been me keeping her close to me, my arms wrapped around her, holding her tight. That was my job.
“So many fuckin’ stairs,” I muttered to myself, moving up the steps of Holly’s parents’ place.
I had finally made it back to Highland Park, back to the place I never belonged to and never would. It had taken me a few hours and now the late afternoon sun sat high in the sky. I would have liked to get back to Holly earlier, but thanks to my damn truck, I had no choice but to deal with an accidental pit stop. That accidental pit stop had led me to something important, though. Something that made my heart get all warm as I remembered how the rest of the day had gone after I stumbled upon that house. My hand pushed into my jeans pocket, my fingers meeting that jagged, borderline rusted key.
