Page 106 of Your Sharpest Edge
“I didn’t mean?—”
“No.” I stared deeply into her blue eyes. “I’m not bringing this up to hash that out again, I promise. I’m telling you I never stopped loving you and seeing you in the field with Damien was fate.”
She swallowed. “It was.”
“Can I kiss you?” I asked, and within seconds, her mouth came crashing down to mine.
Her lips were a flurry of love, desire, and friendship. Somehow, our relationship started with the basics. We were friends first, but I’d come to realize I needed her like I needed oxygen to breathe.
When we finally pulled away, I kept my arms tightly wrapped around her.
“Thank you,” she whispered breathlessly. “For everything.” She dropped her forehead to mine.
“Can we eat now?” I said, trying to lighten the heavy conversation.
She pulled away, giggling. “Please. I am starving.”
I didn’t know how to tell her where else I wanted to bring her tonight. I didn’t know how she’d respond.
“Why are you so antsy?” she asked.
I kept fumbling with my napkin, unfolding it, then refolding it in my lap while I tried to gather the courage to tell her where I wanted to go—where I wanted to take her.
“I, uh—” I coughed. “I have another sort of field trip on this date, but only if you want to go.”
She narrowed her eyes as her eyebrows scrunched in confusion. “I don’t get it.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “Do you still want to explore things sexually?” I asked and peeked my eyes back open.
“Oh, uh, wow. This is definitely not what I expected.” She giggled.
“Okay, but you’re following?” I leaned back in my chair, shifting one of the candles on the table so I could get a better view.
“Roger. Following,” she said in jest.
“While you were gone, I used women as a way to try and distract myself. A lot of the time, some of the guys on the team and I would go to these parties...”
This was fucking embarrassing. I wasn’t trying to kink shame myself or anyone else in the group, but I wasn’t sure if Anastasia was going to judge me for the parties I attended—the high I kept trying to chase when she wasn’t around.
“I know this, Alex,” she said tenderly, reaching her hands to me. “It’s different now.”
Her smile encouraged me to continue, no matter how hard.
“Well, er, anyway, so sometimes some of the guys on the team host parties where it’s kinda like a big... sex party?” My voice accidentally went up at the end, making it sound like a question.
I looked down at our interlocked hands, wondering if she would pull away from me when the words registered. A few beats passed, and her hands still firmly held mine.
“Okay . . . go on,” she said curiously.
“Okay, so sometimes, a few of the guys—and some from other sports teams, too—we all get together to host a party and invite a few girls that we meet at bars or whatever. It’s easier if it’s at someone’s house because it’s a quick way to pass out an NDA.”
“Oh. Well, actually.” She huffed out a laugh. “That makes a lot of sense.”
I shrugged. “Yeah. It does.”
She stared at me. “And those parties... What happens?”
I rubbed my thumb against the tops of her hands. “It varies a lot, depending on the party. You mentioned feeling upset because you never got the chance to explore, and that’s what these parties are about. There are usually a lot of threesomes, sharing, group sex, and sometimes people come for the voyeuristic or exhibitionist experience.”
