Page 12 of Your Sharpest Edge
When I managed to stop my tears, I pulled away and looked at him. “Sorry. This is embarrassing.”
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “It’s human.”
Something stirred inside me, a sensation hard to describe but similar to the rush I felt when winning a competition.
“You just stole his cookies?” he asked, changing the subject. He grabbed the towels out of my hand.
My eyes widened in panic. Oh no. Now, Alexsey was going to tell his neighbor that I took back what I had made him and?—
“Anastasia.” His tone softened. “I was only joking. I won’t tell him. Plus”—he held up the Tupperware—“I want to try these.”
Then, dropping down to his knees, he began to gather the scattered cookies with the paper towels he’d taken from me. We both knelt in silence, picking up crumbs for a few minutes, finishing at the same time.
“Er, sorry again,” I muttered, feeling defeated by the whole interaction.
I had tried to do the right thing, and now I felt ridiculous.
“I should get going.” I sighed, hanging my head as I grabbed the empty Tupperware filled with crumbs and discarded towels and turned toward the door.
I managed to take a few steps before a large hand reached above me, slamming the door shut.
Whipping around, I found him inches from my face.
“No,” he said. His demand was soft, gentle even.
I blinked a few times, unable to process everything.
“Come sit with me.”
This was entirely inappropriate. I was married to his teammate. I shouldn’t be here. I was planning to drop these off at his door, not have an entire conversation with him.
“I should go. I don’t know when... he... will be home.” I shrugged, not able to make eye contact with his blazing green eyes.
“He’s out with Dirks. We’ll know when he’s home because Dirks will come here, and you’ll hear everything.”
I still didn’t dare look up at him. This still wasn’t right.
As if he could sense my inner conflict, he took a step backward. “Just as friends.”
He sighed, his hands retreating into his pockets. “It’s lonely here.” He kicked his foot lightly, as if trying to dislodge something, scuffing it on the ground. “My parents weren’t the best, and hockey was truly my whole life. But finding someone else who understands the loneliness of a new place... There’s something comforting about that.”
It was such an unexpectedly raw and vulnerable moment. I didn’t know Alexsey well, and suddenly, I realized I might have unfairly judged him.
Being around Dimitri was the closest I got to understanding men, aside from family and my skating partner. So when I looked at Dimitri, my husband, the one who publicly vowed to protect, love, and cherish me, it made me wonder if he was meant to embody the ideal man, then who stood before me now? The figure in my gaze appeared soft, delicate—far from the man I was to spend my entire life with.
“That must be really tough. Being alone isn’t easy...” I said, hoping to connect with him.
His green eyes met mine. “But you’re married.”
I let out a small, awkward laugh, quickly swallowing it. “You’re right. I am. I don’t know what I’m saying...”
I was married, but I’d never felt more alone in my life. My world was crumbling through my hands, yet I couldn’t find remnants of it to hold onto.
“I, uh, I just meant that being here, away from our families, culture, is really difficult.”
“Why are you here? You had so much going for you in Russia.”
I sighed. “Yeah, but they cut funding for my program. It was either quit or come skate for the US team.” I closed my eyes, and before I knew it, the whole truth was tumbling out. “I met Dimitri because our parents thought we’d be a good match. Hepromised to fund my competitions here, and in return, we’d get married and eventually have kids.”
