Page 121 of Your Sharpest Edge
I dropped his towel, watching as it pooled at his feet. “I liked the way you gave me the freedom to explore, to touch, to taste what I’ve always wanted.”
I trailed my fingers along his chest, and he brought his hand to my chin, tilting it up and bringing my gaze to his.
“I liked it, but I don’t know if I want it to be an everyday thing,” I confessed.
His shoulders relaxed as tension left his body.
“Was that something you were worried about?”
“Yes,” he admitted. “I...” He paused as I grasped his forearms. “I was worried you would want to leave me after all that. I was afraid that if I introduced you to that world, I wouldn’t be enough for you, and you’d leave me again.” His voice cracked on the last word.
I paused, holding his arms as he clutched me tightly. “Is that what you’re scared of?” I murmured into his chest.
He nodded.
I hesitated, feeling a mix of emotions. Of course he would think that. I was always leaving him, always running away from the pain and the memories. Everyone had left me at some point—my ex-husband, my career, my old life, and even my own body when Dimitri broke it. I had become so used to the act of leaving that it felt like the only way to protect myself. If I was the one who left first, then it wouldn’t be so painful. That’s why I kicked him out.
My breath hitched as I tried to find the words. His fear, his vulnerability, it was all laid bare before me, and I couldn’t ignore it. I wanted to reassure him, to make him understand that this time was different, but the words caught in my throat.
“I’m sorry,” I finally whispered, my voice barely audible. “I’ve always run because it’s easier than facing the pain. But I don’t want to run anymore.”
His grip tightened around me, as if holding on for dear life. “I don’t want you to leave,” he said, his voice breaking. “I want to be enough for you.”
I pressed my forehead against his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart. “I’m scared,” I admitted. “Scared of being left behind, scared of not being enough. But I want to stay with you. I want to face it all, together.”
“Am I enough for you?” he asked, dipping his forehead.
For a moment, we stood there in silence.
“You’re more than enough for me,” he said solemnly.
The weight of his words was heavy in my heart. “If the chance ever arose again, would you be willing to go to another party like that with me?”
He smiled. “It would be a conversation we’d have together. If it’s something we both want consensually, then yes. I don’t want to turn into my parents though.”
“What do you mean?” I traced his jawline as I watched him swallow.
“I don’t want to end up like them. I want to be in a relationship with open communication. The lies, cheating, and going behind each other’s backs aren’t what I want.”
“I would always talk to you about it, but I can see why you’d be scared since I pushed you away instead of talking to you about what scared me in the hospital. The sexual freedom I felt was exactly what I think I’d been missing.”
If only I could find the final piece of the puzzle.
He tilted my chin. “Promise me.” His eyes pleaded along with his words.
“I promise,” I said, my voice firm with resolve. “I won’t leave. Not again. I’m not your father, and you’re not your mother.”
We embraced tightly and stood there, holding each other, letting the weight of our fears and promises sink in. It was a new beginning.
I spread kisses across his forehead as he snaked his arms around my back.
“How do you feel?” I asked.
“I feel amazing, malyshka.” He met my gaze. “I need you and Damien in my life.”
“We need you.”
His mouth met mine, and we devoured each other.
