Page 131 of Your Sharpest Edge
A soft knock on the door interrupted my thoughts.
“Hey,” Dirks said softly. “The police want to talk to you. Ledger took Damien down to his apartment. I’m going to join them.”
Alex lifted his head from my lap and looked at me, then back at Dirks. “Can you tell them that they need to come in here?”
Dirks nodded.
Without a second thought, I grabbed Alex’s face and kissed him. “I’m sorry it took me so long to realize how much you meant to me. I mean, I think I knew it all along, but I’m sorry it took me until now to realize you were always the one for me.”
He melted into my kiss. We were two lost birds that somehow found our way back to each other.
“I love you. I will wait forever until you’re ready to say it back.”
I gave him a smile. “It’s not that I don’t want to, because I do, but I think I want to show you?—”
“Ms. Illyiana?” a police officer asked from behind me.
I peeled away from Alex. “Yes. That’s me,” I responded.
“Would you mind recounting what happened?”
And so I did.
47
stassi
Before the police officers left, they told me Dimitri would be going back to jail for being in violation of his parole... already. We’d gotten on the phone, finally, with my lawyer, who told us what happened.
“I cannot believe there was some clerical error, and no one notified you prior to last night,” Alex said as he adjusted the pillows on the couch and moved into the kitchen.
I’d found the strength again in my legs and was able to move to the living area.
“It was bullshit,” I huffed.
“You could sue, you know?” Alex added as we waited for Ledger, Dirks, and Damien to come back down.
“I could, but what if that meant Dimitri had to be there, too? I can’t do that.” I sniffled a few times. “They told me he was going away for assault and his violation, so he’ll be there for a long while. They insisted that I would be notified if anything changed.”
“How do you feel?” Alex asked, leaning over the kitchen island.
I stood up and walked over to him. So many complex emotions swirled around in my head. Relief, fear, anger, and sadness all fought for dominance.
“I feel...” I searched for the right words.
It was like I had been in a dark room for so long, and now I was stepping into the light. It was blinding, and I didn’t know what to expect. I had become so accustomed to the pain and uncertainty that it felt like my normal. Now, without it, I was exposed, yet somehow more myself than ever before.
I no longer had to second-guess every decision or live in constant fear of repercussions. I’d start making choices for myself, rediscovering who I was without this shadow of my past looming over me.
I also felt a flicker of hope. Alex had always been my rock, the one person who believed in me when I wasn’t able to believe in myself. I resolved to focus on healing, on letting go of the guilt and fear that had held me captive for so long. It would be a long and challenging path, but for the first time in years, there was a spark of hope and a vision of a future where I’d be free, powerful, and loved.
“I feel strong,” I finally said, realizing there was so much complexity in that simple sentence.
The door opened, and Damien rushed to my arms.
“Is everything okay?” my sweet boy asked.
“More than okay, sweetheart. Thanks for hanging out with Ledger a little bit longer.”
