Page 133 of Your Sharpest Edge
“No.” I cackled. “No, Dirks.” This time, I fell off the chair, landing next to Alex, who’d all but started laughing uncontrollably again.
Ledger, still on his chair, glanced down. “You guys should’ve warned her that Dirks named his dick.” He was so nonchalant when he said it.
“You knew?” I asked Alex, who nodded.
“Yeah. It’s a weird thing.”
Dirks shrugged. “Not weird. Mr. Din?—”
“Stop, please.” I wheezed. “I will never look at you the same now.”
Dirks joined in on our laughter, and there was the easy camaraderie again. It felt nice, natural, and gentle. The only other person I was missing was my roommate, and I wished she wasn’t as busy so she could come see us.
I paused and looked around the room once we’d all gotten up from the floor and started to play another game. Alex scooted his chair close to mine, and his hand never left my thigh. I stared at his lush locks, the stubble on his strong jawline, and the way he glanced at me every so often.
I never knew what love looked like and often worried I’d never know, but I knew. I was in love with Alex.
48
alex
“What are we doing at the ice rink at six in the morning?” I asked, my voice still raspy from the night before.
I didn’t have sex with Anastasia last night. Instead, I held her in my arms and listened to her breathe. I cradled her, imagining what life would be like if she were taken from me, if he had won and she wasn’t there anymore. I worried whether he’d come back for Damien or if they’d always be in danger. But now, I didn’t have to wonder. She was with me, and somehow, we found ourselves at the ice rink at the ass crack of dawn.
“There’s one more thing I want to do with you,” she whispered.
“Are you going inside?” I asked.
She’d gotten over her fear of the rink when she visited, but that was the last time she was there. Aside from that time, I never saw her go in.
She nodded and held up a bag. “When we stopped at my house, I grabbed these.”
She’d called out sick today and told me she wanted to spend the day together while Damien was at school and then the afternoon at her studio. I hadn’t noticed what bag she’d gotten, but I recognized a figure-skating bag from anywhere.
“Are you...?” I hesitated, grabbing her hand and stopping her before we went inside. “After yesterday, are you sure?” I asked.
She nodded. “A lot of my injury has to do with my mental space, too,” she added. “Yesterday, my anxiety took over, and my legs froze up as a version of a panic attack, so to speak.”
She grabbed my fingers and pushed open the door. “I want to do this with you. I need to.”
We walked silently toward the ice rink, the cold air biting at our skin.
When she pushed open the door to the rink, she said softly, “Dirks helped me set this up.”
Last night, Ledger asked if anything felt strange about what we did together, knowing she had seen Dirks naked. But all that came over me was an overwhelming sense of pride for Anastasia. After everything that happened with Dimitri, that pride had only grown stronger. I saw her in a new light—I had almost lost her again, and the thought of that was unbearable. I’d never let her slip away. I wanted her to experience every joy she had missed out on.
Standing here, at the rink where I practiced almost every day, excitement surged through me for our future. The pride that had filled my chest when Ledger asked me was swelling up again, powerful and warm.
“I need your help, to spot me in case I fall.” Her voice pulled me back from my thoughts, her words a tender plea.
“Always.” She pulled us to the benches where we sat during the game, and I paused. “Anastasia. I don’t have my skates.”
She gave me a smile and shook her bag again. “I do, silly. I grabbed a pair before we left and shoved them in my bag, hoping you wouldn’t notice.”
“I was too busy looking at you,” I admitted. “Are you sure you want to do this? Emotionally?” I gulped down air.
She sat on the bench and pulled out her white skates. “No,” she whispered. “I don’t want to, but it’s the one thing I’m terrified of still, Alex. I’m so scared of going out there when he took it all away from me. After last night, I thought that was the end of me, but I realized that everything I walked through in my life only made me stronger, so I refuse to put thought into the situation...”
