Page 28 of Your Sharpest Edge
“Say that again.”
I closed my eyes, not letting him see my building tears as I shook my head over and over.
“No,” I begged him. “Please don’t.”
I was trying to remain cool and collected, but inside I was breaking in half.
Opening my eyes, I watched his chest rise and fall as his breathing became rough. “I never should have asked you.” My tone was low, and I tried so hard not to let my voice shake.
His hands still hovered over my neck. That was one thing he was good at. He never inflicted pain aside from when he was having sex with me. He never allowed it to be anything other than sexual. He didn’t hit me when we were making dinner or lounging around, just used his words, but with how close he was, I could see the pulse in his neck. I watched it quicken. His eyes darkened with the need to punish and hurt.
“Please,” I begged silently.
He watched me and then inhaled deeply, his nostrils flaring before he took a step away from me.
“Do. Not. Ever. Question. Me,” he commanded.
“I’m going with a friend,” he repeated.
I nodded. Whatever he wanted. I didn’t care.
Please, just leave.
“I’ll see you at the end of the week. There’s five hundred dollars cash on the table for whatever you need. Buy yourself those new clothes.”
I looked down at my feet, not daring to look him in the eyes.
“Take a pregnancy test. You haven’t this month.” It was all he said before the front door slammed shut and the lock clicked, leaving me inside the cold apartment.
I dropped to the floor, the floodgates opening. I knew he was cheating on me, but this solidified it. I also hadn’t taken a test in over a month, but I didn’t want to tell him. I didn’t want him to know my period was late. I didn’t want it to be true.
I let myself cry for a good twenty minutes before I picked myself up and grabbed a container of brownies I made with one hand and my sewing machine with the other. I needed someone to help me figure out how to thread this damn thing so I could make some pieces. He could take away my clothes, but he’d never be able to take away my drive to learn a new skill.
I didn’t think twice about the unused pregnancy tests in the bathroom. I was going to have one last night before I did. I wanted one more night.
I realized that since it was bye week for Dimitri, that meant the entire team had the week off. Once I arrived at Alex’s door, I dropped the sewing machine. It was super heavy to carry anyway, and then I looked at the doorbell. In the time I’d been walking to this apartment over the last few months, I never rang it. It was like our thing now. I liked to joke that he watched me through his creepy camera on the wall.
“Hey, Stassi,” I heard a guy say from down the hall, and I almost jumped from fear.
It wasn’t that I was hiding my friendship with Alex from Dimitri, but I also knew he wouldn’t be so keen on knowing that I was going down there when he was out with God knows who. It wasn’t fair, but nothing was ever fair with him.
So when I heard a strange male voice call my name, a rush of guilt washed over me, reminiscent of being caught red-handed as a child.
“Hi,” I murmured once I turned around to see who was calling for me.
It was Alex’s neighbor, Dirks.
“Are you dropping off a sewing machine?” he gestured toward the bulky object sitting on the floor.
I chuckled nervously. “No,” I replied, attempting to discreetly shield the machine with my body. Holding up the container in my hand, I added, “Just a treat.”
Almost instantly, the door swung open, and Alex appeared, glancing at me, his eyes scanning me up and down, before waving at Dirks.
“You’re going to miss out,” Alex blurted out.
The words got caught in my throat, relieved that Alex had intervened.
“Oh, shit,” Dirks muttered, slinging a suitcase over his shoulder and locking the door behind him. “What did you make?”
