Page 34 of Your Sharpest Edge
As I let go of her face, the absence of her warmth reminded me that she wasn’t mine. Not. Mine.
Walking in sync with me, she shoved her hands into her pockets and stared straight ahead. “Tell me, what did you used to do before you met your very best friend?” Her tone was light as if she was joking, but nothing was funny about her statement.
I stopped on the sidewalk, and when she noticed I was no longer beside her, she turned to face me.
“What’s wrong?” She glanced around us and down at the cement before looking back up at me.
“I know you’re joking, but you really are my best friend,” I confessed, closing the distance between us. “I never knew what having a friend was like until I met you. I’ve only ever had teammates, not someone who really understood me in the way you do. No one ever asked about my family or cared enough tobring me food. I wouldn’t know what to do without you.” The last sentence came out quieter than I intended.
I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I was always so sure and confident. I spent my entire life with my family yelling at me, telling me I was never good enough to be the best. So I made sure to do the very opposite of what they taught me. I wasoverlyconfident, especially around women. I never had an issue getting anyone into bed—usually I had a few willing participants.
Granted, everything I was saying was the truth, too. I didn’t know how to navigate friendships, but this felt so much more. It felt like my entire heart was beating outside of my chest. If this was what friendships felt like, then I wanted to have a thousand, but only if I could have them with Anastasia.
As I waited for her response, lost in my thoughts, I noticed her fidgeting, anxious to see what I’d say or do next. “I used to go out a lot with Dirks.” I finally admitted. Her eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “You asked me what I did before you came over.”
“Ah,” she responded, and we fell into a comfortable walk back to the apartment again. “Why haven’t you?”
Shit. Wasn’t that a complex and layered question that I didn’t even have the answers to. “I’ve found other interests.”
“Like hanging out with me and being forced to watch rom-coms?”
I smiled and huffed out a breath. “Exactly like that.”
“Weird.” She chuckled, and I wanted to tell her more, but we turned and were in front of our apartment.
“Ready to go in?” she asked. “I think I’m feeling a bit better, so maybe if it’s okay with you, I can bring my food to my apartment.”
I reached for the door in front of her to prevent her from typing in the code on the pad. “I thought you were going to come up with me?”
Her bright blue eyes, only illuminated by the street lights below us, stared right at me. “I-uh-if that’s okay with you?” She laughed. “I don’t want to stop you from going out and picking up girls.”
I looked down at the ground, punched in the code before pushing the door open. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
13
alex
“You ready to get out here, Sokolov?” I hollered to the girl currently sitting behind the glass in the front row as she scarfed down on an entire bucket of popcorn.
I had no idea how long she’d been here, but she’d nearly finished a whole bucket of popcorn. The arena was closed for our bye week, and staff used this time to clean, so I had no clue where she even found it. She sat with her feet propped up on the glass as I skated around the rink. I’d come earlier to blow off steam, but I’d been counting down the minutes until she’d show up.
“I was craving popcorn.” She sat up straighter and put her feet down. “Plus it’s pretty cool watching you skate.”
“Where did you get that?” I pointed to the popcorn.
“The lady cleaning the concession stand offered me some, and when she did, it sounded good, so I grabbed some before coming down to the ice.” She held the bucket up. “Want some?”
I shook my head and huffed out a laugh.
“Wanna come down to the ice before they have to Zamboni?” I suggested.
“Yeah, my skates are in the bag,” she murmured, gazing longingly through the glass.
“Come on.” I waved my hand, beckoning her. “Show me what kind of skater you really are.” I winked.
I was glad that after our dinner last night, she seemed better and things went back to normal.
She bounced around the seats and jumped right into the benches. After sitting down and placing the popcorn next to her, she laced up her skates.
