Page 73 of Your Sharpest Edge
X Alex
My heart felt like it was going to explode into a million pieces, and I wasn’t even sure why. First, this amount of fabric would not only cover all of Damien’s outfits for the summer and fall, but it was also brand new. This meant I didn’t have to reuse or recycle anything, giving me the chance to practice making shirts that didn’t look pieced together. Second, the gesture was both generous and terrifying. I had no idea how he found my address; the only logical explanation was that he got it from the camp. But that wasn’t why I was scared.
No, I was terrified because this gesture symbolized exactly what I feared between us. Alina was right—it was overwhelming. After what Dimitri did, I often felt like I had no control over my life. Telling Alex to leave was the first and only time I gave myself control. He needed to see that.
I shook my head, lifting the yards of fabric from the boxes and stuffing them into the hall closet, careful not to damage anything. But something lingered at the back of my mind, reminding me of all the times we’d spent together and how supportive he had been. I wondered if I was too broken to see the difference between control and support, and if I could ever define the line between the two again.
27
alex
“I might puke,” I said to Dirks as I shifted in my seat at the bar where we were meeting Anastasia.
We purposefully came early, both already having had a few shots, and now I was a hot fucking mess in the booth I made the waitress seat us at for its location far away from the front door and also its privacy.
The bar was small, and its atmosphere was quiet and calm—a stark contrast to my nerves. The walls were painted a dark green, and a small gold vintage light stood at every booth. There wasn’t a lot of chatter, which meant we could hear each other. I could see why Anastasia picked it. The menu mostly consisted of drinks and not food, which meant she wouldn’t have to sit through an entire meal if things got cut short, but I was going to do everything to win her back.
“I went online and typed his name in to see if he was still in jail in Indiana, and he is.”
I stared at Dirks, who I forced to sit next to me so she’d have her space on the other side of the booth. “Of fucking course he is.”
“Do you ever wonder what will happen when he gets out?” Dirks asked.
All the time.“I have no idea.”
I didn’t want to think about it because it had been a nightmare I constantly lived with for so long. I kept wondering what would happen when he got out and whether he would succeed in hurting Anastasia. He was charged with attempted murder, but he was only convicted of aggravated assault.
But that was a thought for another day because I had found her, and I needed to focus on keeping her around.
“I blame myself a lot,” Dirks said, looking down at the wooden table and snapping me out of my thoughts. “I was his friend. I watched him cheat on her. I didn’t...”
I patted him on the back. “Don’t, man. You were young, too.”
“She’s here,” Dirks said swiftly and stood up.
I had insisted on the inside seat so that Dirks could be my anchor, forcing me to sit down and not run wild.
“Hey, Stassi,” he said, leaning over to give her a kiss on the cheek.
I stood up behind him, and when he finally moved, I let my gaze linger on her. She looked different from the last time I saw her a few days ago. She was wearing a strappy dress with a button-down shirt loosely draped over her shoulders and a pair of Keds. Her long blonde hair was down and straight, cascading past her shoulders. Her beautiful blue eyes sparkled even in the dim light of the bar.
I leaned in and wrapped my arm around her waist, feeling her tight against my body before giving her a brief kiss on the cheek. She pulled away, but I saw the flush on her cheeks as she slid into the booth across from me.
“Can I get an order of fries and a wheat on tap?” she asked the waitress, who nodded and disappeared.
“Did you guys order?” she asked us, and we both nodded. “Good.”
She was sitting right there, so close I could reach out and pull her onto my lap. Holy shit. Anastasia was sitting there, a few feet away, and I didn’t even know where to begin or how to start. The shock of seeing her again, looking so radiant and so near, left me momentarily speechless.
“So...” She looked between us, and I realized that Dirks and I must’ve looked like idiots as we stared at her.
“I’m sorry. It’s like seeing—” Dirks said.
“A ghost.” I finished for him.
She took a long, deep breath. “I wasn’t going to come.”
My eyes widened. “Listen, I didn’t have the words for what I wanted to say until a few days ago when my roommate helped lay it all out for me.”
