Page 78 of Your Sharpest Edge
“Dirks!” I shouted. “Oh, thank fuck it’s just you.”
“Well, yeah. I wanted to make sure you guys were okay before I headed out, but, uh, it seems like everything’s fine?”
“Dude.” Alex chastised him as he turned around, tucking his cock into his waistband so the rest of the restaurant didn’t need to see his tent. “Really?”
“I don’t know, man. You guys are confusing as fuck.”
Alex and I looked at each other simultaneously, and a grin broke out on our faces. “Yeah. We are.”
“Anyway, I think I’m going to head out, Stassi, so you guys can... finish what you started.”
I shook my head and adjusted my hair so it didn’t look as disheveled. “I’ve got to head home. I work tomorrow.” I walked over to Dirks and gave him a hug.
“Come to a game with the little man?”
I gave him a tight-lipped smile. “I appreciate it. I don’t know if I’m there yet.”
He nodded as if he understood. Attending a hockey game meant facing everything I had left behind—everything that still reminded me of Dimitri. It had taken years just to say his name, but going to a game after pushing hockey out of my mind was something else entirely. Seeing an ice rink would only remind me that I would never skate again, that the one thing I worked so hard for was taken from me forever.
“Sorry,” Dirks murmured, his voice filled with genuine remorse.
“It’s okay. I just... need time,” I responded softly. I couldn’t blame Dirks.
“Give him a chance,” Dirks said.
I glanced back at Alex as I walked toward the door with Dirks and his hands were tucked into his jeans, exuding an undeniable allure even in the dim light. He possessed a commanding presence wherever he went. Sometimes, I wondered if he belonged in a Mafia movie, given his dangerous charm. Maybe that would be his second career if hockey didn’t work out. He was so gentle and soft, though, so the thought of him being dangerous made me chuckle on the inside.
“It’s complicated,” I replied to Dirks. “But I’m grateful you came tonight.”
Dirks embraced me before waving to Alex behind me.
“You’re not going with him?” I turned slowly on my heel to face Alex, observing the tension in his jaw as he approached me.
“No.” He answered so simply.
“I, uh, I really do have to go.”
“Let’s go, then.” Alex reached out to grab my hand, but I shook my head.
“Listen, Alex. I was... just... I...” I had no idea what I even wanted to say. “I’m so fucking messed up, Alex. I wanted to kiss you and see if I was going nuts because all I thought about was that kiss. I’ve never kissed anyone else because replacing your lips felt worse somehow than kicking you out of my room...” I messed with the ends of my hair. “I don’t know if I’m ready... it has to be on my terms.”
Alex shrugged and then laced his hand around my waist, guiding me out of the restaurant. “It’s whatever you want it to be, Anastasia. I’ll show you every single day of my life from here on out how much all I have ever wanted was to be in your life in some way.”
We got outside, and the chilly evening wind blew around us.
“Do you remember the story of my parents?” he asked.
I nodded, turning toward him. “Yeah.”
“At the time, it couldn’t be you. I thought we were passing ships in the night. I missed you, and you were married. I couldn’t stoop to my father’s level and cheat.”
“I agree,” I responded. “I wouldn’t have cheated either. I thought that was what marriage looked like.”
“Anastasia, I was completely head over heels the moment I saw you in my apartment, but D was my teammate. I did anything to have you in my life in some way, but you were always so much more to me than a friend.”
“I’ve never been in a real relationship. I went through so much therapy to get over what he did to me, Alex.” The sadness threatened to choke me as I swallowed. “He would hurt me every single day. I ran to your apartment the moment he left because you showed me that not all men were scary and painful.” I hesitated. “Did you know that?”
“The day you came to my apartment with bruises, I suspected it, but if my parents’ relationship taught me anything, it was that you weren’t ready to leave him then. If I had demanded you do it, you’d have pushed me away, and I didn’t want you to have nowhere to go.”
