Page 81 of Your Sharpest Edge
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stassi
“No, no, no. This cannot be happening,” I cried, rushing to the medicine cabinet. I grabbed some children’s acetaminophen, desperate to bring Damien’s fever down.
“What’s wrong?” Alina asked, poking her head out of her room.
“Damien has a fever, which means he can’t go to camp. I already missed a day of work this week, and I’ll be in massive trouble if I call in again. Can you watch him, or do you have to work today?”
Alina looked regretful. “I can’t. I have to go in. I’d call out, but I only have a few days left of sick time.”
A pang of guilt waved through me knowing she had used her sick time on Damien earlier in the year.
I sighed, dosing the medicine. “No. It’s okay. I’ll figure something out.”
I walked into Damien’s room, where he lay listlessly on his bed, cheeks flushed with fever. “Hey, buddy,” I said softly, sittingon the edge of his bed and holding the medicine spoon to his lips. “This will help you feel better.”
His blonde hair was splayed out on his pillow. “I don’t feel good, Mommy.”
“I know, sweetheart. Take this, and Mommy will stay home and take good care of you.”
He swallowed the medicine with a grimace.
I tucked him in tightly with his favorite stuffed animal, Bear, nestling beside him. “You rest, okay? I’ll be right here.”
Damien nodded weakly, clutching Bear close. As I watched him drift off to sleep, I had no idea how I was going to manage this. I needed to be at work, but my son needed me more.
I gently closed the door behind me and pressed my back against the frame. Something about my child being sick brought back memories of my own year in the hospital. I went to the worst-case scenario, which wasn’t healthy or helpful when trying to be stable and secure so as not to freak out Damien. But dealing with medical issues made me so anxious. I wanted to freak out, yell, panic, and hide in a hole all at the same time.
Alina walked toward me and wrapped me up in a hug. “It’s just a little bug. I’m sure he picked it up from camp. When kids start school, it’s common for them to get sick at first.” She pulled back when I didn’t respond, gripping my arms. “What was his fever?”
“It’s only 99.9, which is super mild.”
“Yeah, and it’ll pass. Honestly, he’ll probably be better after he wakes up.”
I nodded and then sobbed into her shoulder. “It freaks me out. I just bring myself back to that year where I couldn’t even pick him up, Alina.”
“I know,” she murmured softly as I completely ruined her shirt with my wet tears. She pulled away from me. “You know what, I think I may have a plan. Come with me.” She grabbedmy hand and led me into the living room, making me sit on the couch. “Give me your phone,” she demanded with her hand out.
I squinted at her, not sure what she needed my phone for, but I handed it over because if somehow she was going to find a way out of this situation, then I’d give her anything to help.
“Stay sitting.” With a sly smile, she opened my phone and looked at me. “Don’t be mad at me.”
“What are you doing?” I furrowed my eyebrows. “Seriously.”
“Okay, you know how you were having yourNotebookmoment downstairs yesterday with your new boyfriend?—”
“Uh, okay. First, he is definitely not my boyfriend. I liked the way he kissed. You were the one who told me to go for it,” I squealed.
“Yeah, yeah about that . . .” Alina continued.
“Wait, I told you I might want to explore it, whatever it is, because he makes me feel safe, and honestly, I missed spending time with him.”
“Exactly, and what else did you say?”
I narrowed my eyes at her as she paced with my phone in her hand.
“You know after he kissed you and before you came up here?”
