Page 96 of Your Sharpest Edge
I nodded, feeling a bit of the anxiety melt away. Ledger was right. It wasn’t about being perfect; it was about being there,about showing up and proving that I was in this for the long haul.
“Thanks, man,” I said, turning back to him. “I needed to hear that.”
“Anytime,” Ledger replied, a small smile breaking through his serious demeanor. “You’ve got this, Alex. Just keep being you.”
Just keep being me, he said, like somehow it was easy to remember who I even was.
“Catch.” Damien threw me a ball as he jumped into the pool, floatie and all.
I caught it and laughed, but my eyes were fixed on the woman sitting at the edge, casually talking to one of my best friends. I’d be a dead man if I said I hadn’t been staring at her in that bikini.
Her long blonde hair cascaded down her back in soft waves, catching the sunlight and shimmering like gold. Her bright blue eyes sparkled with laughter, the vibrant color intensified by the deep blue of her bathing suit. The suit clung to her curves in the most tantalizing way, accentuating every line of her body.
The fabric hugged her hips, and the neckline plunged enough to tease, revealing a hint of cleavage that made my pulse quicken. Her legs, long and sleek, stretched out lazily, toes skimming the water’s surface. She exuded a casual confidence, completely at ease in her own skin, and it was impossible to look away.
“You know,” I told the boy as he swam toward me, lifting him into my arms when he got within reach. “Your mommy is very pretty.”
We both paused and stared in Anastasia’s direction. “I used to know her when you were a little baby,” I said to the little boy as I gave him an extra tight squeeze.
“My mommy told me.”
“Oh, she did?”
Damien nodded. “Yeah, she told me that when she was in the hospital with Grandma, you gave me a kiss right here.” He pointed to his forehead. “You told me that I needed to take care of Mommy.” Damien grabbed my cheeks. “I did a good job, didn’t I?”
His smile beamed across his face, and I wanted to wrap him as tight as I could in my arms and hold him the way I did when he was a baby. I wanted to hold him to make up for all the time I—we—had lost together.
“Sweet boy.” I nuzzled into his cheek with my nose. “You did the best job, but Mommy did a great job watching you, too. You guys make a pretty cool team.”
“Mommy and Damien,” he said, placing a kiss on my cheek.
My entire chest could’ve quite literally combusted. I looked back over at the side of the pool where Ledger and Anastasia were, and I wanted to pull her away from him and steal her heart forever because she had stolen mine a long time ago.
“That’s right,” I whispered as I swam to the ledge with the little boy in my arms.
“Alex?” Damien asked, and I stopped to look at him. His beautiful green eyes stared at me momentarily, filled with curiosity.
“Yeah?”
“Did you know my real dad?” he asked. “The one who’s gone for a long time.”
I closed my eyes, unsure of how to answer that. I glanced at Anastasia, but she was too far away, engrossed in conversation.Uncertainty gnawed at me, and I hesitated, not sure if I should swim over to her for guidance.
Taking a deep breath, I lifted Damien up in my arms so we were eye level. “I did know your dad, buddy,” I said softly. “He was around when you were very little.”
Damien’s eyes widened a bit. “Was he nice?”
The question pierced through me, a mix of innocence and longing. A lump formed in my throat. “Sometimes, Damien,” I replied carefully. “But he had a lot of problems that made it hard for him to be the dad you deserved.”
“How did you know him?” the boy asked.
“We played hockey together. We were on the same team. That’s how I met you and your mom.”
“Were you there when he had to go away? Grandma was with me,” he told me, and I wanted to tell him that I wasn’t there, but that I heard the whole thing and never left his mom’s side when she was in the hospital. I wanted to tell him about the stories we told his mom when he was a newborn and would visit her in the hospital, but it wasn’t the time.
“Yes. I was there,” I confessed.
“Where did you go after?”
