Page 100 of Your Biggest Downfall
Her breath hitched, but she didn’t interrupt. She knew I needed to get this out.
“They’ve tried everything,” I whispered, my voice breaking. “Chemo, radiation, immunotherapy—they’ve all stopped working. Aunt Mae said... said her body isn’t responding to treatment anymore. Her liver functions are declining, and there’s fluid in her lungs. They call it pleural effusion.”
More silence. I hated the silence. I hated that in the times of quiet, I could fill the space with my relentless thoughts.
“I’ll be over in twenty minutes,” Luna said, cutting through the chaos in my mind. “Let me call the boys and see if they know where Austin went after practice.”
“Thank you,” I whispered, my voice hoarse from crying, barely recognizable. “Thank you.”
I ended the call and collapsed onto the couch, my body heavy with exhaustion, but my mind was a storm I couldn’t shut off. Thoughts of what could’ve happened to him spun in endless loops, each more terrifying than the last. I tried to force my eyes shut, to give myself a moment of rest, but every time I came close, another wave of fear jolted me awake.
It felt like I had been lost in that desperate cycle for hours, but it couldn’t have been more than twenty minutes when my phone rang again. My heart surged, hope momentarily cutting through the fog of fear, only to crash into a wall of disappointment when I saw Luna’s name on the screen. But eventhrough the disappointment, there was relief—at least she was here.
“I’m pulling up. Come downstairs,” she said, her voice steady but urgent. “I found him.”
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“Jeremy said he went home with him after practice. He thought he had texted you to let you know his plans changed but that they crashed afterward.”
My knee bounced as we pulled up to Jer’s. If Austin was here, he was next door to us. He couldn’t even walk down the freaking block to come home?
I chewed on my fingers and looked over at Luna. “Was he drinking?”
I hated the look on Luna’s face. Her mouth pressed into a worried line, her nose scrunched, and she reached out to take my hand. “I don’t know if Austin was drinking, but Jeremy definitely was.”
The unspoken words echoed loudly in my head. Austin and Jeremy had been together. Jeremy was drinking. Austin didn’t call me last night. I wasn’t naive—maybe hopeful, but not stupid.
“If he was drinking... he’ll lose his job,” I whispered, my throat tight.
Luna gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. “I think there’s more to be worried about than his job.”
I nodded, my eyes burning with unshed tears. I was so damn tired—physically, emotionally, completely drained.
“Do you want me to go in with you? I was going to check on your mom...”
I sobbed, and Luna jumped out of the car. She walked around to my side, opened the door, and wrapped me tightly in her arms.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “You were right. This past month I’ve been such a shit friend. I haven’t been there.”
She shook her head. “Don’t you dare say I was right yet. Go in there and figure it out. Is this the first time?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“He’s been acting normal?”
“Yeah. Everything has been perfect, which is why this is coming from left field. It’s so sudden.”
“These things happen so quickly. One day, things seem so normal, and then next?—”
“It doesn’t,” I whispered.
She gave me an apologetic smile. “I wanna go check on Mami. Go up there and see. He could’ve just crashed at Jeremy’s house. You never know.”
I nodded, appreciating her optimism, but deep down, that wasn’t the reality.
I hugged her tighter. “I’m so sorry for the things I said. I’m sorry I was angry.”
