Page 7 of Your Biggest Downfall
“Yeah.” He laughed. “She will.”
Once I settled in the driver’s seat, I started my car. He stepped out of the way, and I gave him a wave as I pulled out of the space.
I rolled down the window and watched as his curls bounced with each step he took toward his car. “Hey, Hart?” I shouted.
He turned around. “Yeah?”
“Thanks for the invite and, you know, letting me cry on your shoulder.”
He chuckled. “Anytime, Supernova. Anytime.”
4
austin
“Austin?” my mom shouted from the family room.
“It’s me.” I threw my bag in the corner and walked into my mom’s house.
She and Ledger had moved out of the city to a small suburb in the North Shore. She now lived in a craftsman house that they were slowly refurbishing. She baked sourdough bread and muffins in the morning while popping out a baby with her husband. Although she wanted me to come over every week for dinner, I tried avoiding it. I hated coming here, and I was being a fucking immature brat, but I hated the fact that I didn’t fit into my mom’s new family.
“Oh, good. Your sister and I are in the back.”
I winced. It’s not that I wasn’t happy being here or happy for my mom. She deserved all the happiness in the world. It’s just that I felt replaced. It was fucking childish, but it had been us for our entire lives, so this was different for us.
“Coming,” I cried as I walked across the creaky wooden floors.
My mom had painted the house a deep green color, and it looked like a vintage flea market had thrown up in here. She was all about cozy maximalism.
I passed through the kitchen into the large family room area, where my mom was resting on the sofa with Evie in her lap, wrapped in a pale yellow blanket. “The baby is asleep, but you can come snuggle with us?”
“Sure,” I shrugged.
As I got closer, I noticed my mom was in a denim button-down maxi dress, her curly hair in a bun on the top of her head. My mom was beautiful, even more so after having Evie.
“Is Ledger here?”
Mom shook her head. “No, he’s still at work. They gave him a couple more weeks off, but I have everything settled here. Having a newborn this time was so different from when you were born. I was so young, and Grandma...”
I closed my eyes as I sat on the couch. Tilting my head back, I looked up at the ceiling, hearing her talk but not absorbing her words. This was always how it felt when I came here. She was bringing up how hard it was to raise me, how different it was growing up while raising a baby, and how much easier it was with a supportive partner.
I didn’t know my dad or sperm donor. Mom didn’t even remember his name because of the trauma she went through. Supposedly, he wanted nothing to do with me, so I was raised by my grandmother and mom. It sucked though—the whole not knowing my dad situation. There were a lot of dad-and-me activities at school that I missed out on. Because my mother was always working, I was always the little kid in the corner who sat alone.
My grandma raised me when Mom was at work. She was a good grandmother, but she often spent her time shit talking my mom, convincing me not to side with her. A couple of years ago, I learned that Grandma was a narcissistic bitch to my mom, and we haven’t spoken in years. I loved my mom dearly, but the wayI grew up kinda sucked. It felt like it was me and her. Now it was just me.
I was lost in my thoughts until Mom’s voice broke through, louder and more insistent. “You don’t understand how hard it was. There was so much, and now...” she said, her voice shaking.
I sighed and sat up, knowing I had to face the conversation I dreaded every time I visited.
“Mom, I get it,” I replied softly. “But rehashing the past isn’t going to change anything. We need to focus on moving forward.”
“You’re right.” Her face softened. Evie was wrestling around in her arms. “You’re right, and I shouldn’t bring it up every time. Tell me about you. The Cup is around the corner, and your?—”
Evie wailed, and Mom tried to soothe her.
I inhaled as she looked at me. “I promise I want to hear what you have to say. Let me feed her, and then I’ll have to get dinner started.”
“Dinner?” A dark voice came from behind us. Ledger was so fucking tall it shocked me every time he came into a room because he simply took it over. “I got sushi for us.”
