Page 72 of Your Biggest Downfall
“The retirement party.” Her eyes were soft as she reached out toward me. “I knew this all started after the party, and I tried to reach out. I called, I texted—but when you didn’t respond, I thought maybe it was best to wait. I figured you’d reach out when you were ready, but you never did.”
I swallowed hard, guilt tightening my chest. “I ignored all of your attempts. I couldn’t do it, Nova.”
“Do you remember what you said?” Her voice quivered.
“I remember everything.”
My mom was getting married and having a baby and moving on. I sat in the corner of the party, feeling completely out of place as I watched everyone mingling and laughing, theirvoices blending into a dull hum. It was supposed to be a time for joy and new beginnings, but all I felt was a growing sense of isolation. My mom was glowing, surrounded by her new family, resting her hand protectively on her growing belly. She was moving on with her life, embracing her future, while I was stuck in the past, slowly fading into the background. I was the son she had out of wedlock when she was a teenager. She had a new family to look after her.
People moved around me, their laughter and chatter a stark contrast to the emptiness inside. I grabbed the bottle of tequila from the table, the glass cool in my hand, as a wave of frustration washed over me. I needed to get out of there, away from the noise. Without a word, I stood up and made my way down the hall, the sounds of the party fading behind me.
When I reached the guest room, I pushed open the door and stepped inside. I downed a few swigs from the bottle, the burn of the tequila a temporary distraction from the ache in my chest. The room felt quieter, almost suffocating, as I tried to process everything. It was supposed to be a night of celebration, but all I could think about was how different things were going to be.
“Hey,” a quiet voice came from the door as the person slowly pushed it open.
I took another swig and looked up. Nova stood in the doorway, wearing a long-sleeve brown dress that hit her right at her knees. Her hair was short, and she’d pinned the front pieces back, showing off her green eyes.
I extended the bottle toward her, but she shook her head. I shrugged and downed another few gulps. Between this and the champagne earlier, I was drunk.
“Sit,” I said, patting the bed.
I had no idea why I was in the guestroom and not my bedroom. Going into my room felt too personal, but with Novain the space, everything felt overwhelming, small and big at the same time.
She nodded and sat on the bed, but I grabbed her arm and gently pulled her back so we were both lying down, staring up at the white popcorn ceiling.
“Why are you in here?” she whispered.
“I hate being out there.”
She paused, then turned her head to glare at me. “Why? You’re the one who wanted this party. I helped you set it up, but everything was your idea.”
“I did it for my mom. She wants Ledger and me to be on better terms.”
“But you’re not?” Her nose wrinkled in frustration, and I could feel the tension between us.
She was angry, and that wrinkle in her nose made me want to lean over and kiss her, to dissolve that anger, even though it wouldn’t take much effort to cross the line and fuck her instead.
I opted to stare back up at the ceiling. “Nah. We’re on fine terms. It’s my family shit...”
Nova sighed. “I get it.”
I lifted the bottle to my face, drowning in more booze. I was lying down, so liquid spilled all over my face.
“Fuck,” I grumbled, sitting upright.
Nova did the same. “Let me get you something?—”
“Stop,” I said, grabbing her hand.
She looked down at her arm and then back up at me.
“I’m really fucked up, Nova. I found out some horrible shit about my fucking family. I’m celebrating my mom having a baby with her perfect-ass husband as her shitty son sits in his guestroom drinking himself stupid.”
“You are?—”
“No.” Fuck that. “I’m tired of being everyone’s fucking second string. I’m never enough for anyone. I came out here,and I’m second to Ledger, the perfect player and boyfriend to my mother. I was forced to forgive him quickly so my mom and I could mend our relationship.”
“Your mom loves you,” Nova said, reaching out to grab my arm.
