Page 81 of Your Biggest Downfall
“Shit. Do you want me to go get a Plan B?”
Although one day I’d love to have a baby with Nova, it was the worst time to have one. I was getting restarted and on thin ice with the team, my parents, and pretty much everyone else in my life.
She shook her head. “No. I, er, I was actually diagnosed with PCOS when I was younger. I don’t have a normal period, so I usually track my ovulation between cycles for my doctors. I’mdefinitely not ovulating, and if I decide I want to have children, it won’t be as easy as the doctors say.”
“Oh.” It’s not like we ever talked about this before. Eventually, I wanted to have a child and figured when it was time, we would stop birth control and it would happen. “Do you want kids?”
She shrugged. “I’m young, only twenty-one, so not right now, but I don’t want to wait forever either. I’m waiting for the right time with the right person.”
“Like me?” I teased her, earning a playful slap on the shoulder.
“Whatever,” she laughed.
I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her back against my chest. “When we get back, can I come with you to see your mom at the house?”
She hesitated, and the silence that followed made me wonder if I’d said the wrong thing. I wanted her to know I cared about her and her family.
“Hey,” I said softly as I reached out and rubbed her cheek. When my fingertips were met with wetness, I realized she was crying. “What did I say?”
“Nothing,” she said through hiccups. “That was... nice of you, Austin. I’d love it if you would come with me.”
And it all clicked. She wanted me to walk her reality with her. Yes, running away and escaping was nice, but being together through the shit felt like I had a partner.
“I’d go anywhere with you,” I said as I nuzzled into her hair.
“Mmm,” she whispered. “I think I might close my eyes for a bit.”
I nodded and held her tightly until she fell asleep.
33
nova
We were back on the road, heading to the city after I took a few hours to recharge. It was late, but I wanted to be at my mom’s house early tomorrow. I suspected Austin hadn’t slept, but his eyes stayed focused on the road.
“You’re not tired?” I asked.
He shrugged. “I’ve been having trouble sleeping,” he admitted. “At the facility, it was always so noisy at night, and now it’s hard for me to sleep in silence.”
I nodded, knowing all too well that sometimes the loudest noises came from within our own minds.
“Are you going straight to your mom’s?” Austin asked, but as I was about to answer, I looked down, realizing that Luna was calling.
I picked up. “Are you okay?” I asked immediately.
“I’m checking for proof of life. I texted you.”
I checked my phone, putting the call on speaker, and swiped to my messages, but saw nothing. “No, you didn’t text.”
“Oh shit, it must be the boat. There’s shitty service here.” She laughed, giggles echoing in the background. “Anyway, wanted to let you know I won’t be home tonight. Will you be okay?”
Luna knew how much I hated sleeping alone. The darkness had a way of amplifying the silence, making every creak and shadow seem louder.
I glanced over at Austin, who caught my eye and gave a small, understanding nod. He didn’t say anything, but it was clear he knew exactly what I was feeling. That silent acknowledgment made it a little easier to respond to Luna.
“Yeah, I’ll be okay,” I said, trying to sound more confident than I felt.
We exchanged quick goodbyes and hung up.
