Page 98 of Your Biggest Downfall
We had Sunday off, with Coach telling us to stay active, but nothing official on the schedule.
“Heading home to Nova,” I replied.
“The wifey,” Jer teased me.
I slapped him with one of my pads.
“Think she’ll let you off your short leash for the night?”
“What’re you thinking?” I asked, pulling off my skates.
“Well, I’d say we hit a bar, but...”
“Fuck no.” As tempting as it was, I couldn’t risk being seen out at a bar.
“Growing up, my dad was an alcoholic. He couldn’t function during the day, couldn’t even walk down the stairs without being drunk or stumbling. I don’t think you’re like him.”
I nodded. “Yeah, I agree. I only did that stuff to keep my job and because Nova wanted me to.”
Jer paused, considering my words before breaking the silence. “So, how about I order pizza, and we can crack open the beer I have saved?”
I grinned. “Hell, yeah. You buying?”
Jeremy laughed, fist-bumping me. “Yeah, man. The bros are back in action.”
Jer was practically buzzing with excitement as we stripped out of our gear, swapping jerseys and pads for our regular street clothes. The second I stepped outside, I was laser focused—on one thing: booze.
I headed straight for the car, barely glancing around as I threw my bag in the back seat. The lure of alcohol was calling me, louder than it had been in weeks. I’d been fighting that urge, telling myself I was better than this, that I didn’t need it.
But I didn’t want to fight it. I wanted to give in, to feel that familiar burn in my throat and the rush of numbness that would follow.
As I drove to Jeremy’s apartment, which was conveniently just next to mine, I realized I wasn’t thinking about Nova. I wasn’t thinking about my mom, my job, or any of the shit I’d been carrying on my shoulders. All I could think about was the escape waiting for me in that bottle.
The alcohol felt like a lifeline, something that could pull me out of the swirling chaos in my mind and make it all fade away, if only for a little while.
When I pulled up to Jeremy’s place, everything else seemed to disappear. The tension I’d been holding onto melted away as I parked the car. It was like the weight of my life, theresponsibilities, the expectations—none of it mattered anymore. I wasn’t Austin Hart, the hockey superstar, the perfect husband, or the best son.
I needed this break. I needed space away from Nova because, while I loved her, every ounce of her, and was obsessed with her, I was exhausted from having to be the pillar for her while she went through her mother’s illness. I was exhausted from holding everything together so we both could inevitably fall apart. Done pretending everything was fine, done holding it together for everyone else.
Jer’s apartment felt like a haven as we walked inside. It was familiar, comfortable, and, most importantly, it held the key to my escape. The thought of Nova never crossed my mind, not once. My mom? She was miles away from my thoughts.
I’d earned this. I deserved this.
Jer headed straight for the kitchen, and I could hear him rummaging around as I settled into the couch. He appeared with two glasses in hand, the amber liquid catching the light just right. He handed one to me, and as I wrapped my fingers around the cool glass, a sense of relief washed over me.
“Cheers, man.” I held up the drink, and we clinked our glasses together.
“To a great fucking season,” Jeremy said. “And to letting loose.”
“Hear, hear.”
This was it.
I brought the glass to my lips. The first sip hit my tongue, and all the noise, all the stress—it faded away.
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