Page 102 of Your Biggest Downfall
He rubbed his temples again. “You don’t need to worry about me, Supernova. I was tired. I’m sorry I worried you. I didn’t mean it.”
I pushed him off me. “You worried me until five in the morning. This isn’t like you forgot dinner, Austin. This is fucking serious.”
He ran his fingers through his curls. “I know, Nova. I fucked up.” He turned around and then back to me. “What else can I fucking do?”
I shook my head. “Where’s your car? You have to drive me home. Luna dropped me off.”
Austin nodded. “I walked. We can walk back.”
“Great.”
I walked past Jeremy, aggressively bumping his shoulder on the way out. “Oops. It was just my bitch-wife attitude that somehow got in the way.”
I shook my head and heard mumbling, not caring that they were talking about me. I grabbed my phone and sent Luna a text.
Me: I found him. He was sober... I think.
I waited a few moments, watching the bubbles appear before her response came through.
Luna: Good. Be careful.
I didn’t deserve my best friend. She shouldn’t have been there. She should hate me for the way I’d pushed her aside the last month, but she was there for me when I needed her the most.
I closed my eyes as I waited for Austin in the hallway.
Was this how marriage was supposed to be? Was I always going to be on edge waiting for him to fuck up? That wasn’t fair to him, but it wasn’t fair to me either.
My breathing was becoming erratic as my mind raced through all the different ways this scenario was going to play out in the years to come.
“Hey, Supernova.” Austin’s raspy voice pulled me from my spiral. “You ready to go to Michigan?”
I stared at him, wondering if he was serious. It was fucking six in the morning, and I hadn’t slept all night. No, I wasn’t ready to go to fucking Michigan.
His face crooked into a smile. “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to worry you. I came to hang out and then passed out, I promise.”
I nodded a few times, trying to believe him. “I, uh, need a nap.”
“Yeah, of course. Let’s get you home, and I’ll tuck you in.” He paused, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I can also tell Emma we’re canceling, if you want?”
God, yes. I wanted to cancel. I didn’t want to drive hours to Michigan. I was still angry and frustrated with everything. What I wanted was to curl up under the covers and be alone for the next day. But Austin loved the house in Michigan, and if he was that close to alcohol, it must’ve triggered something in him. He needed the escape to Michigan probably as much as I needed to not go.
When we walked up to his car, he held the door open for me.
He seemed fine, though. He’d been around booze all night, and he looked... fine.
“No,” I muttered, forcing myself to push through it. Sometimes we do things we don’t want to for the people we love. This was one of those times. “I’ll go. I just need a quick nap.”
I slid into the car, and he got in on the driver’s side.
“Did you drink?” I asked him point-blank.
“No,” he responded quickly, his hands gripping the wheel. “I didn’t, Nova.”
But his jaw was tense, and his chest was rising too fast.
“Are you lying to me?” The question slipped out before I could stop it. I didn’t want to be this person, constantly nagging him. I wanted to trust him.
“No, Nova,” he snapped, his voice low and controlled. “I’m not fucking lying. I want to go home. Are we done with the fucking interrogation?” He whipped his head in my direction, eyes burning with anger.
