Page 49 of Your Biggest Downfall
Maybe this was my silver lining in an otherwise shitty two days.Thank you, world.
“Yes. That would be great.”
“I also had the team extend your contract through August, so it’ll leave one month unpaid.”
I closed my eyes. Now this was absolutely the silver lining I needed. I sighed and let out a deep breath of relief. “Thank you.”
She pulled her glasses off her head, and I assumed the conversation was over, so I turned back to go.
“Thank you for last night,” she mumbled, and I glanced over my shoulder and gave her a small smile.
I closed the door and forced myself to walk down the hallway before stopping and resting my head against the wall.
I did it. I fucking did it.
20
austin
I was sitting in the conference room at the top of the arena, a desolate, cold area with floor-to-ceiling windows offering a clear view of the ice rink below. Stiff, uncomfortable chairs with unforgiving metal frames surrounded the long steel-gray table in front of me. The walls were bare, except for a few generic motivational posters, adding to the sterile atmosphere.
Harsh fluorescent lights buzzed overhead. The silence was oppressive, amplifying the thoughts racing through my mind. I glanced down at the ice, its pristine surface almost mocking me, and I realized how badly I had fucked up this time. The weight of my mistakes pressed down on me, suffocating in this space.
Iris sat on one side of the table, with Coach next to me and Ledger flanking my other side. My agent, Taylor, was seated beside them. We were all waiting for the owner, Bob, to arrive.
The silence was unbearable. No one said a word to me, which made it even worse. I was staring at my future, and these people held it in their hands.
Bob finally walked in and took a seat at the head of the conference table. “Should we begin?”
Iris was the first to speak, and she clicked on the projector where she had laid out an entire PR plan.
“I think it’s important to note that the first thing we do is put out a statement as a team,” Iris began. “We do not condone this behavior, and we are disappointed. But what I’m noticing more is that people are caring about mental health, and addiction is a mental health illness.”
I closed my eyes and tuned her out. Truthfully, I wanted to tell them I was more ashamed of what I’d done to Nova last night than getting caught in a bar, publicly using drugs. I wanted to tell them that after that photo, I took a girl’s virginity in that bathroom. It made me sick to even think about it. She deserved to be wined and dined. She deserved the entire world, not some sordid moment in a dingy bathroom.
“In our statement,” Iris continued, clicking through the slides, “we will emphasize that we are committed to ensuring our players’ mental health is as important as their physical health. We will offer support and rehabilitation, focusing on their well-being. This will show our dedication to both our team and the broader issues of mental health awareness and support.”
Her words felt like a distant echo, overshadowed by the guilt gnawing at me. Nothing could erase the shame of how I had treated Nova.
“We’ve found two local rehab centers, both within a sixty-mile radius of here. They offer thirty-day programs,” Iris continued, her voice steady and authoritative. “Our official press statement will read as follows: ‘The organization is deeply disappointed by the recent actions of one of our players. We do not condone drug use or any behavior that compromises the integrity of our team. However, we also recognize the importance of mental health and the challenges of addiction. In light of this, we are committed to supporting our player through this difficult time.
“‘We have arranged for immediate admission to one of two local rehabilitation centers, where a comprehensive thirty-dayprogram will be undertaken. Our priority is to ensure the health and well-being of our players, both physically and mentally. We will also be implementing additional mental health resources and support for our entire team to prevent such incidents in the future.
“‘We are committed to the player’s recovery and rehabilitation and aim to have him return to play hockey in the fall season. To ensure his continued progress and accountability, we will implement mandatory drug testing prior to each game. This measure will guarantee that he remains on track and upholds the standards expected of our athletes.
“‘We ask for the understanding and patience of our fans and the community as we address this matter. Our goal is to help our player recover and return stronger, while also reinforcing our commitment to maintaining the highest standards of conduct and care within our organization.’”
Iris paused, looking around the room. “This statement will be released to the press following our meeting. It is essential that we present a united front and show our commitment to both accountability and compassion. Does anyone have any questions or concerns about the statement?”
As silence filled the room, the implication of the words settled over me. “When do I leave?” I asked.
“Immediately following this meeting,” my agent said.
I nodded, closed my eyes, and ran my hands down my face. I hung my head. I’d have to leave Nova without an explanation for what happened. We would never talk about it.
“Can I at least—” I asked, but Coach cut me off.
“No. You’ll turn in all your personal items, including your phone, to Ledger, who will ensure it is safe, and you will leave from here.”
