Page 90 of Your Biggest Downfall
She shook her head, her tears still flowing. “But have you thought about what this might do to him? What if this overwhelms him, Nova? What if this makes it harder for him to stay sober?”
How could she think I hadn’t considered his sobriety? I thought about it every single damn moment. “Of course I’ve thought about his sobriety, Luna. I think about it every single day. Do you think I’d jump into this without considering what it means for him? He fucked up, but he loves me, and he’s making up for it. Moving in with him, marrying him—that’s what’s best for Mami and me.”
Luna’s face fell. She looked at me, and when she spoke, her voice was sad. “I know you wanted your mom to see you get married, but... like this?”
“Like what?” I spat back. “Happy?”
Fuck her. Fuck her for not believing in me. She was like everyone else. She doubted everything I did, but if I wanted to be with Austin, which I clearly did, then I would.
“I don’t want you to leave like this,” Luna said as I pulled a few suitcases toward the door.
I was still hot as I whipped around to face her. “You made this choice. You made something that was exciting and new for me into something about... you.”
“I didn’t mean to.” Luna was holding back tears again.
“Well.” I shrugged. “You did.”
“You can come back. You always have a room here.”
She didn’t get it. “No. That’s the whole point. I don’t want to come back... ever.”
“Please,” she whispered. “Don’t leave like this.”
Just then, Austin appeared in the open door. I’d made him wear his hat and sunglasses still because even though we’d gotten married, I told him we needed to keep it a secret until we told Auburn and Ledger. He’d begrudgingly agreed.
Austin glanced behind me, probably at Luna, who was still crying. “Are you guys okay?” He took a hesitant step forward.
“Everything’s fine,” I replied, my voice tight. Fine was a placeholder for everything I didn’t want to admit.
“Fine is good,” Austin said, then reached for a few of my bags.
He looked back at Luna and gave her an awkward wave. She was crying, not even saying congratulations, while I was moving out.
“I don’t know what to say, Luna. I’m not trying to take her away from you. You’re welcome to stay with us if you want?—”
“She doesn’t want to,” I cut in, turning to grab the rest of my things. “Bye, Luna,” I huffed, dropping my key on the counter.
“I’ll be here when this fails,” she whispered, and I shot her one last look.
Fuck her. Fuck her unsupportive attitude. I rarely got mad at Luna—she was my only friend—but I was furious with her, and I wasn’t sure how we’d ever move past this.
Shaking my head, I walked out the door, closing it behind us.
“Are you okay?” Austin asked once we were out in the hall.
“No,” I muttered, staring straight ahead and continuing toward the exit.
This was supposed to be good for me, a positive change, so why did it all feel so overwhelming?
“Do you want to talk about it?” Austin asked, walking beside me.
“No.”
This wasn’t how I imagined starting our marriage.
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