Page 15 of Heal You
She pressed a hand to her forehead and panted.She hadn’t expected to come so hard, but it was what she was focused on that had her worried and confused.As she’d slipped her fingers inside herself, Morgan had been solely on her mind.As she’d forced her heels into the mattress and sunk deeper, she had imagined Morgan’s fingers inside her.Bringing her to the edge as she whispered filth in her ear.
Jan shuddered and relaxed into the bed.Did she need to process whatever this was she was feeling?Most probably.Only she didn’t want to.It had been ajoyto have Morgan on her mind in that moment.Jan just prayed she would be able to look Morgan in the eye the next time they saw one another.
“Oh, this is a mess.”
In her head, perhaps, but when Jan was with Morgan, she found herself unable to focus on anything other than the woman in question.Morgan made her feel as though everything wasn’t so terrible right now.She made her want to pick up her life and move it onto a path far more exciting than what she’d subjected herself to over the last few years.Jan wasn’t ready to admit her marriage had been falling miserably, but it was true.For the most part, it seemed Jan had been holding onto the beautiful weekend she’d recently spent with her husband.But if she pushed those very few days to the back of her mind, the affair was beginning to make sense.It didn’t absolve Phil of anything, but it did make sense to Jan.Perhaps ‘sense’ was the wrong word for her realisation, but Janwasbeginning to understand that the life she’d portrayed hadn’t quite been so truthful.
She turned on her side and spied her phone on the bedside table.She hadn’t seen Morgan for a couple of days now, but that wasn’t anything unusual.Until last week, they hadn’t really had much of a conversation with one another.Jan had briefly found herself looking in Morgan’s direction, but no sooner had she done so…she had stopped.She hadn’t allowed her mind to wander when it came to women inmanyyears, but around Morgan, she found it too easy.She found it normal and natural.Morgan, the beautiful bartender, certainly made Jan feel some kind of way.
A way she wanted to explore.
But a way she knew would cause a lot of confusion.
She reached for her phone and chewed her lip.Could she drop Morgan a message to say hi?Could she ask if she would be free in the coming days?Morgan had given Jan her number, and they’d already exchanged a few messages, but Jan wasn’t sure sending a message out of the blue would be wise.She never wanted Morgan to think she had to respond.
She told you she enjoys being with you.
Jan smiled as she held her phone to her chest and rolled onto her back.Shehadnoticed the way Morgan looked at her.She also had the reminder of what Morgan had said at the back of her mind.Morgan…found Jan attractive.God, you’re out of your mind if you think anything could happen between you.Jan sighed, aware that she wasn’t in the right frame of mind for anything meaningful at the moment.She could just about manage to find the strength to leave her hotel room since she’d left Morgan outside the hotel the other night.But—and she had to wonder if this was true—she believed she was dragging her feet this weekendbecauseshe had no concrete plans to see Morgan.
Fuck it.Text her.
Jan brought their very short message thread up on the screen and scrolled through the conversation they’d had since Morgan had so kindly handed her number over to Jan.She smiled as she read the messages, reminded of just how supportive Morgan had been so far.Yes, it had only been a week—almost—since Jan had left her marriage, but she had been there for Jan, regardless of the length of time.
Hi.
Jan tutted and deleted the single word she had written.What did she even say to Morgan?She couldn’t exactly start with, ‘Hi, I’ve just fucked myself while I was thinking about you’.Maybe if they knew one another better and something had happened between them, then that would be the perfect conversation starter, butnothinghad happened, and nothing would.
Jan sat up against the headboard and closed her eyes.This wasn’t healthy, and it wasn’t sensible.But she’d spent a significant number of years being the sensible one.So what if she wanted to let go and enjoy life for the brief moment it was possible.
Hi.I don’t know if you have plans, but I wondered if you’d like to see one another at some point this week?As you are aware, I have very little to do with my time, and we seem to enjoy the spontaneity.
Okay, that wasn’t too much, right?Jan quickly hit send before she could delete the message again.She didn’t expect Morgan to reply any time soon—she was likely preparing the bar for opening—but she would look forward to a response at some point later this evening.
As Jan locked her phone and lowered it to the bed, it pinged.Her heart shot up into her throat, but most of all, she was wet all over again at the mere thought of Morgan.
Hey!I was just thinking about you.I’m working tonight, but you’re welcome to come over here and grace my bar with your beautiful presence.
Morgan had been thinking about her?Oh my.Jan felt her cheeks beginning to heat.She didn’t know why Morgan made her feel that way, but she was a very attractive woman.Perhaps she was just choosing to focus on that fact without realising it.
You wouldn’t mind?I don’t want your customers to talk…
Morgan started to reply immediately.
Talk about what?Whether I’d ever be lucky enough to call you mine, or whether you’re considering an AA meeting?
Jan squeezed her thighs together.
Why would Morgan hint at something like a relationship if she wasn’t thinking it?
The latter.I could be accused of sleeping with worse people.
Jan considered whether that was too forward, but if she was learning anything about Morgan, it was that she found the humour in most situations.
Now, now, Jan.Don’t hint at a good time!
Jan laughed out loud at that.Morgan had responded exactly the way Jan hoped she would.
Then, another message came through.
