Page 23 of Heal You
“Call him and tell him you’re staying in the house until everything is sorted out.Tell him he’s not welcome there and that you’re not moving out.”
“At the moment, I don’t want to be there.While he thinks there could be a chance at reconciliation, he won’t let it lie.He’ll show up every day, and I wouldn’t be able to stop him from doing that.I just…need the time alone first.To clear my head, you know?”
Morgan shifted until she was between Jan’s legs, her arms braced on either side of Jan as she dipped her head and kissed her.“You’ll know what the right decision is when the time comes.I just hate knowing you’re at the hotel and not at home.Or staying with friends, whatever.”
“I’m not really at the hotel, though, am I?”Jan quirked a brow as she fisted her hand in Morgan’s T-shirt and pulled her down on top of her.The weight was calming.Morgan felt incredibly good against her.“Idefinitelywasn’t there last night.”
Morgan lifted her head and smirked.“No, you weren’t.”
“It’s just a base for me.I’m rarely there.Maybe I’ll start to look for places to live once I’ve had the house valued and I know what I’m working with.”Jan brushed Morgan’s hair from her face and searched her eyes.“Having you in my life right now is keeping me sane.I don’t know what I’d have done with myself this past week.”
Morgan’s phone started to ring on the coffee table.She groaned as she lifted off Jan and reached for it.“It’s just one of my staff,” Morgan said, answering the call and putting it on speakerphone.“Everything okay, Ben?”
“Yeah, of course.Finn is here asking for you.”He spoke low, probably aware that Morgan wasn’t alone.He’d been the one to let Jan up here last night, so the fact neither of them had been down to the bar at any point today spoke volumes.“Should I pass on a message?”
“Yeah, um…” Morgan sat back and chewed her lip.“Tell her I’m stuck on a call with the brewery and that I have to head straight out after it.”
“No problem,” Ben said.“I’ll tell her you’ll be in touch later or something, yeah?”
“Thanks, Ben.”Morgan ended the call and threw her phone onto the coffee table again.She crawled back between Jan’s legs, the press of her body only firing Jan up all over again.“Finn is the last person on my mind right now.I haveyouall to myself, and I’m going to make every second of it count.”
Jan took her bottom lip between her teeth as she gazed up at Morgan, only feeling slightly terrible for the lie Morgan had told Finn.“Sounds interesting.”
Morgan crawled back slowly and dipped her head.She trailed the tip of her tongue down Jan’s stomach, smiling against her skin when Jan gasped.“Mmm.The reaction I was hoping for.”
“Morgan,” Jan whispered, moaning as she buried her head in the cushion.“Oh, fuck.”When Morgan lowered the waistband of the sweats Jan wore, Jan gripped the back of the couch.“I don’t know how or why we’ve ended up here, but…don’teverstop.”
Chapter10
Dreading this conversation,Jan walked into the coffee shop where she was meeting Gillian and kept her head down.She needed another moment or two before she revealed her terrible secret, and right now, she was glad Gillian hadn’t been available the day Jan had called.It meant Jan had given herself more time to process everything.By allowing herself that time, Jan no longer felt as though she would burst into tears the moment she laid eyes on Gillian.
As Jan looked up and scanned the room, she saw Gillian sitting with her back to the entrance.She quickly slipped off into the bathroom and stared back at herself in the mirror.Jan didn’t know how honest she planned to be today, but she didn’t believe she could come clean about Morgan just yet.Gillian would have a thousand questions, and Jan wasn’t prepared for them.Of course it would be confusing for Gillian and likely everyone else, but Jan wasn’t confused by the fact she had slept with Morgan.She also couldn’t regret it.Because in that moment, as well as before and after, Jan had felt wanted.
You’re almost fifty.Grow up!
Had Jan been so concerned about what she felt within herself that she’d thrown caution to the wind that night?Perhaps.Had she wanted to feel some kind of emotion thathadn’tbeen caused by Phil?One hundred percent.Regardless of the reasons why Jan didn’t stop Morgan that night, it had been exactly what she needed at the time.Something that would help her to detach from everything swimming around in her head.Something…that made her feel and think and appreciate what she did have left.And right now, that was a heart.Jan didn’t know how it was still functioning, but it was, and that was what she would cling to whenever life felt rough in the coming weeks and months.
She checked her makeup in the mirror, took her handbag from beside the sink, and made her way back out into the coffee shop.As she put on her best smile, Gillian turned around when the doorbell jingled, and someone else stepped inside.Jan lifted a hand and waved, then weaved through the small number of tables dotted about.
“Hi, love.”Gillian stood up and embraced Jan.“I was wondering if you were going to cancel.You’re never late.”
Jan smiled as she took a seat.“Sorry, it’s been a bit manic lately.”
“Why?You’re always on the ball.It’s not like you to be stressed out.That’s usually reserved for me.”Gillian grinned, but it quickly faded when Jan just stared back at her.“Jan, what’s going on?”
“I don’t know where to begin…”
“You look tired.”Gillian reached a hand across the table and settled it over Jan’s.“Let me order you coffee, and then we’ll have a good talk.”
Jan spied the glasses of water on their table.“I’m okay with water for now.I’ve already drank five coffees, and it’s barely one in the afternoon.”The worry in Gillian was evident on her face.Jan would put her out of her misery soon enough; she just had to find the right words.“I…” Jan shook her head and managed a feeble laugh.“I’m divorcing Phil.”
The cup of coffee Gillian had just lifted from the table froze in mid-air, her brows drawn.“I’m sorry?”
“Phil.My husband.I’m divorcing him.”
“Yes, love, I know who Phil is.”Gillian sat back in her chair.“I don’t understand why.”
“Because he’s been seeing someone else, Gill.”
