Page 166 of The Secrets of the Tea Garden
Tilly came and sat down on the bed beside him. ‘Libby wrote and told me. I’m afraid I thought she was being over-dramatic as usual.’ She placed her hand over his – lightly, briefly. ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have dismissed her worries.’
‘I wanted to confide in Libby,’ James admitted. ‘She’s so mature in many ways. But it didn’t seem fair to burden her ...’
‘Burden her with what?’ Tilly asked gently. ‘James, we’ve been apart so long, I’ve no real idea what it’s been like for you. Is there something we can do?’
James felt a pang of affection for his wife and this glimpse of the old Tilly, the one who had fussed over and cared for him. Here she was, wrapped in a threadbare silk dressing gown that had once belonged to him, her hair loose about her shoulders, concerned about him once more. She looked almost girlish in the lamplight. How he missed their former companionship! Years ago, one of the things that had attracted him to Tilly was that he had found her so easy to talk to – her warmth of personality and ability to listen.
He took a deep breath. ‘I’m haunted by the past, Tilly,’ he confided. ‘I can’t get it out of my head.’
‘The War?’ Tilly guessed.
James shook his head. ‘Much longer ago – before I met you.’
‘Ancient history then,’ Tilly said with a wry look.
James gave her a fleeting smile. ‘Yes, when I was a young man at the Oxford.’
‘This isn’t to do with Sophie’s father, is it?’
James flinched. ‘How could you possibly know—?’
‘Darling, I was the one who unearthed it all, remember? Poking my nose into why the Logans were staying at Belgooree when Sam was born and Sophie was a little girl.’
James let out a sigh. ‘No, Tilly, it’s not about that. But it does involve Logan – before he was married. God, how I wish I had never worked for that wicked man!’
‘James!’ Tilly admonished. ‘You mustn’t say that. He was ill when he did that terrible thing.’
‘You mean murdered his wife and then committed suicide?’ James said angrily. ‘No, Logan wasn’t ill; he was a vicious, jealous, drunken bastard who mistreated his wife and was notorious for taking advantage of the tea pickers.’
Tilly gaped at him in shock. James felt himself shaking. All the old hatred for Logan and disgust at himself for doing his bidding surged through him. He waited for Tilly to defend Sophie’s father with excuses; his wife rarely saw fault in anyone – apart from in him and Libby.
‘Tell me,’ said Tilly softly. ‘I promise I’ll say nothing to Sam or Sophie.’
James felt his eyes sting with tears. Swallowing hard, he began to tell Tilly the secrets that he had buried for decades but which would no longer leave him in peace.
Adela was encouraged by the thawing of frosty relations between Tilly and James. Since they had moved into the Jesmond house a few days ago, they appeared to be getting on better.
Josey cautioned, ‘It’s not all sweetness and light, but at least they’ve stopped snapping at each other in front of others.’
‘Well, it’s a start,’ said Adela. ‘And I’m glad they’ve settled on the Jesmond house. I’m sure Major Gibson will let James go riding at Willowburn any time he wants – and follow the hunt.’
‘Tally-ho and all that,’ said Josey with a wink.
‘And what about you, Josey?’ Adela asked. ‘Are you happy to stay on living in the Robson household now that James is back?’
Josey paused. ‘I’m not a great fan of James,’ she admitted. ‘But I feel sorry for the man. He’s like a fish out of water in Newcastle ... and I know he has nightmares – heard him shouting in the night on more than one occasion.’
‘Really?’ Adela asked in concern.
‘Yes. Tilly says it’s something to do with an incident at the plantation years ago but she won’t say what. She’s being kinder to him as a result. So I’ve decided to stay on with them and help Tilly. She and the children – well, they’re my family too. I feel more affection for them than I ever did for my own. I don’t want to go anywhere else – and Tilly has insisted that I stay.’
Adela smiled. ‘I’m not surprised; you’ve been a wonderful friend to her.’
Josey gave a droll look. ‘Having said that, I’m looking forward to a week on my own, looking after the house while the family are at StAbbs. Would you and Sam like to come round for supper one evening?’
‘Thanks, we’d love that.’
‘I’ll have a go at making you a curry, shall I?’ Josey suggested. ‘Or at least throw some curry powder into a fish pie.’
