Page 93 of The Secrets of the Tea Garden
‘’Cause I know you don’t really want me to find my baby,’ Adela cried.
‘I’ve never said that!’
‘But it’s true – deep down it’s true – and I don’t blame you, Sam. Finding him can never mean the same to you – and I don’t expect it to – though I want you to love him too. But I can’t go on any longer pretending that it isn’t the most important thing in my life.’ She saw him flinch, yet she had to explain or the unhappiness that was gnawing inside her would destroy them both.
‘Today I discovered that my son was adopted by a childless French couple – here in Newcastle. I’m so happy to hear that he’s not in an institution. MrsSinger said they were kind people.’
Sam’s eyes glistened. ‘I’m happy to hear that too.’
‘But I don’t know anything else – whether he’s still in the city – or whether they’ve taken him back to France.’
‘What are you saying?’
‘It can’t be so hard now to find him,’ said Adela. ‘At least if they’ve stayed in Newcastle.’
Sam looked horrified. ‘So you’re going to pursue him even now? Even though you know he has parents who are looking after him well. Are you going to barge into his life and tell him that these people aren’t really his mother and father?’
‘No, of course not,’ said Adela, ‘but I just want to see him ...’
‘Good God, woman! Just listen to yourself. You won’t stop at that, will you? You’ll carry on with this obsession till you’ve got him back, no matter who gets hurt in the process. Why can’t you just let it rest, now you know that he’s with a kind family?’
‘You of all people should understand why!’ Adela cried. ‘Would you rather not have known about your real parents – that you were a Logan? To have gone through your life not knowing you had a loving older sister? Imagine a life without Sophie.’
‘That’s not fair,’ Sam said angrily. ‘You know it’s not the same. Nobody got hurt by my finding out about Sophie and my parents. But you risk tearing this boy’s life apart.’
‘I would never do that!’ Adela said, wounded by his words. ‘How could you think it?’
‘I don’t know what to think any more,’ he growled. ‘Except that our marriage appears to mean a lot less to you than it does to me.’
‘You know that’s not true,’ Adela said, tears choking her throat. ‘I love you, Sam.’
‘Do you?’ he demanded. ‘Or are you still in love with Sanjay?’
Adela reeled from the accusation. ‘Sanjay?’ she gasped.
‘Yes, the man you had a child with, remember?’ He looked at her in fury. ‘You’ve never really got over him, have you? That’s why you can’t give up on finding his son.’
Adela gaped at him in disbelief. She was so shocked at his suggestion that she could not speak.
Sam clenched his fists. They stood glaring at each other.
‘If that’s what you think, then just go, Sam,’ Adela hissed.
Abruptly his angry expression turned to one of desolation. He spun round on his heels and strode out of the kitchen. Adela wanted to call him back but in seconds the front door was slamming shut behind him. She sank to her knees, buried her face in her skirt and wept.
