Page 125 of The Secrets of the Tea Garden
Adela winced. How could he distrust her so much?
‘No, Sam,’ she said, ‘I’m trying to show you that I still love you. You’re right – I’ve been obsessed with finding John Wesley to the exclusion of all else – I’ve pushed you away and hurt you when I never meant to. Ihavefound out more about my baby but it took Tilly and Josey to make me see sense. Sam, it’s you I want to be with – you’re the person I love most in the world – and I can’t bear the thought that you might leave me ...’
Adela’s words caught in her throat. Tears flooded her eyes. She looked away, overcome.
In an instant, Sam was out of his chair and raising her to her feet. He held her at arm’s length.
‘Do you mean that?’ he demanded, searching her face.
‘Yes,’ she croaked, ‘every word.’
Sam pulled her into his arms and squeezed her tight. ‘Oh, my darling, I thought I’d never hear you say those words again. I thought you didn’t love me – that I was only a poor second best to Sanjay ...’
Adela shuddered. ‘Please don’t say that. That man doesn’t even come close to you in my estimation – I have no affection for him even though he fathered my son.’
Sam buried his face in her hair with a sigh of relief. ‘I’m sorry for doubting you.’
‘I’m sorry I gave you cause to doubt me,’ said Adela. They looked at each other for a long silent moment and then she leant up and kissed him tenderly on the lips.
He gazed into her eyes. ‘I never wanted to leave you, Adela, but I thought I was making you unhappy – I was at a loss as to how to make things better.’
‘It was a mistake making you come back to England,’ she said, ‘at least for the reason I did. I felt terrible when your mother told me you’d gone to Edinburgh to fix up a job as a tea planter in Ceylon. It made me realise just how far apart we had become.’
Sam stroked her hair. ‘I wasn’t quite honest with my mother,’ he admitted. ‘I did have an appointment to meet a tea planter but there was another reason I went to Edinburgh.’
‘Oh?’ Adela felt calmed by his touch on her hair and the tenderness of the gesture.
‘I wanted to see where my blood family came from – the Logans and Andersons. Sophie had told me with such affection about her time with Aunt Amy Anderson, I needed to see the city for myself. I went to Clerk Street and saw the flat where Sophie grew up, in sight of Salisbury Crags. I met Sophie’s old employer, Miss Gorrie, who said how fond she was of my sister and told me anecdotes about their time together.’
Sam gave Adela a sheepish look. ‘I didn’t want Mam to know that was my main reason for visiting Edinburgh, even though she would probably understand.’
‘I’m sure she would,’ Adela replied. ‘All she wants is for you to be happy – even if it means you leaving her and going abroad again.’
‘She said that?’
‘Yes,’ said Adela. She touched his face. ‘Is that what you want to do, Sam?’
‘I don’t know,’ he admitted. ‘I realise it will take time to feel I belong here – but even going to Edinburgh where my real family are from, I didn’t feel it was home. But I’ll make Britain home if that’s where you want to be. It depends on you and whether you want to stay and carry on looking for ...’
‘No,’ Adela said, steeling herself. ‘I’m not going to keep searching for John Wesley. It was a selfish dream. Tilly said it was making me ill and she was right. I just have to come to terms with never knowing what’s happened to him – and hope that good people are taking care of him. I have to accept I will never be his mother ...’ Her voice faltered.
‘Darling!’ Sam clutched her to him.
Adela swallowed hard. ‘But,’ she said, ‘I want to be a mother to a child of our own. I want us to try for a baby.’
He cupped her face in his hands, scrutinising her.
‘Are you sure?’
‘Yes,’ she said, on the verge of tears again. ‘If you still do.’
‘Of course I do!’ Sam cried. He leant and kissed her firmly on the mouth.
Adela felt the ball of tension inside ease a little. A flood of affection washed through her. She held on to him and kissed him back.
‘What do we do now?’ he asked.
Adela felt her pulse begin to quicken at the look he was giving her. For the first time in weeks, she felt a stirring of desire.
