Page 198 of The Secrets of the Tea Garden
Libby felt tears flood her own eyes at the mention of Manzur’s father. James cleared his throat.
‘Your mother couldn’t live without you, Aidan. She never got over you being taken away – never understood why the sahibs were being so cruel. While Logan was away fetching his new bride, Aruna took her own life. That is how much she loved you.’
Danny bowed his head and broke down weeping. Winnie put her head next to his and murmured soothingly. ‘It’s over, Danny. Now you know. There’s nothing left to worry about. You knew a mother’s love. You always said you had a vague memory of a kind ayah. It must have been your mother, Danny – your mother.’
James stood up, patted Danny’s shoulder and turned to go. Libby followed. As they reached the door Winnie said, ‘MrRobson?’
James paused, holding the door for Libby.
‘Thank you for coming and telling Danny the truth,’ she said.
James nodded as Libby led the way out.
That evening, after the Roys had retired to bed, James told Libby the full story of the Logan affair over a late nightcap. She was still reeling from his revelation about Danny’s parentage and his cruel banishment. How could Sophie and Sam’s father have been such a callous man?
‘It was Sunil Ram who raised the alarm about Aruna,’ James recalled. ‘I thought everything was under control and the affair could be forgotten. Until he took me to the bungalow.’
‘The Lodge?’ Libby queried.
‘Yes, or Dunsapie Cottage as it was called in those days.’ James struggled to describe what he had found. ‘She must have slipped pastSunil Ram. She – she was – Aruna was lying there – there was blood soaking the bed – she’d cut her wrists. Oh, God! The smell of blood!’
Libby thought her father was about to vomit, so vivid was the memory. She fought back her own nausea.
‘It was in that room on the left, wasn’t it?’ she asked.
‘Yes,’ said James. ‘How did you know that?’
‘Flowers had a bad feeling in there – she was really shaken up – don’t you remember?’
James sighed. ‘I was in such a state I don’t remember what was real and what I dreamt. I’d got to the stage where I was reliving it all every night – whenever I closed my eyes I couldn’t get it out of my head.’
Libby reached out and took his hand. ‘Oh, Dad, what a terrible burden to carry all these years. Did you never tell anyone?’
James shook his head. ‘I tried to forget. Do you know the worst of it? Logan never even asked about Aruna or the boy again –never! He was monstrous.’
Libby shook her head in disgust. ‘How could a man like that produce such loving children as Sophie and Sam – and Flowers’s father?’
‘Perhaps because they had loving mothers,’ James answered. ‘Not that any of them had their mothers for long, poor things. I feel so very guilty that I couldn’t save either of those poor women from Logan. At least with Jessie Anderson I tried to save her – went to see her and begged her to leave Bill Logan – but I let Aruna down so badly.’ He gave a tortured sigh. ‘Flowers reminded me of her grandmother Aruna – she has the same eyes ...’
‘So that’s why you were so ill at ease having Flowers to stay?’ Libby guessed. ‘It probably triggered off your bad memories again. I’m sorry if I made things difficult for you by bringing her along.’
‘No, it wasn’t your fault,’ James said quickly, ‘or Flowers’s. She’s a delightful young woman. It was me being such a coward and not facing up to what I’d done. I’d spent most of my life trying to pretend Aruna’s death never happened.’
Libby sat, absorbing everything her father had confessed. Finally she asked, ‘Does Mother know what you’ve come all this way for?’
James gave her a wistful smile. ‘It was Tilly who suggested I do so.’
‘Really?’ Libby exclaimed.
‘After I went to visit Fairfax,’ said James, ‘the nightmares began again. Your mother kept on asking questions until I told her what was haunting me. Tilly made me realise that I couldn’t escape what troubled me by putting thousands of miles between me and the source of my mental anguish. I would solve nothing by running away from my past. She has your tenacity, Libby. And your ability to make people confide their secrets.’
‘Good for Mother,’ Libby said in admiration. ‘She succeeded where I failed. Flowers knew there was something very wrong and that you needed help.’ After a moment she added, ‘Will you be all right?’
James squeezed her hand. ‘You don’t need to worry about me.’
‘It’s good that you and Mother have cleared the air,’ said Libby. ‘It’ll make it easier when you go back.’
James slipped his hand out of hers. He took a swig of his whisky. Quietly he said, ‘I’m not going back.’
