Page 141 of The Girl from the Tea Garden
‘Truly?’ Adela marvelled at the thought.
‘I’ve longed for you,’ he insisted.
She said, ‘I’ve dreamed of this happening so many times.’
Sam went on, ‘That’s why I want to set things straight about Sipi.’
Adela braced herself. ‘I don’t really want to know. I don’t want to hear about your wife, even if it wasn’t a proper marriage. You made a choice over Pema– a brave and honourable choice – but it changed everything.’
Sam gripped her. ‘It doesn’t have to. She isn’t my wife. I gave her a home, but we never lived as man and wife.’
‘But Mother said you did.’
Sam gave an exasperated cry. ‘Your uncle James was needling me– I let him believe what he wanted to believe.’
‘So it isn’t true? You never lived together?’
‘Not in the way you mean. I stood by her while she needed me. Pema gave birth to a child,’ Sam admitted. Adela gasped. Sam’s look bore into her. ‘But not my child.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘The poor girl was already carrying a baby when I rescued her at the fair. Her uncle had forced himself on her, and that was why he was getting rid of her at Sipi.’
Adela moaned, ‘How terrible.’
‘She has a son.’
Adela looked at him with dismay. ‘You can’t just abandon them, Sam.’
‘I haven’t.’ Sam’s hold slackened and his tone hardened. ‘I would never abandon a child– not like my mother did me. What sort of woman would give up her son?’
Adela felt her insides go cold. Sam didn’t notice her tense.
‘Well, I made sure that Pema wasn’t put in that position. My servant Nitin is her protector now. He fell in love with Pema, and I encouraged him to take on her child. They married five years ago– a proper Hindu marriage– and they have a daughter now too. You couldn’t get a more proud father than Nitin.’
Adela swallowed. Her heart was racing. ‘You’re a good man, Sam,’ she whispered.
‘No, I’m not. I’ve done some idiotic things in my life. The worst of them being allowing you to leave Simla thinking I didn’t care for you. I know I hurt your feelings– I saw you that day at Sipi with Prince Sanjay. I was mad with envy, especially after Fatima told me she had warned you about him. You were such an innocent. But you didn’t love him, did you?’
Adela squirmed at his words. ‘No, I didn’t.’
Now was the moment to confess everything, tell Sam about her affair and the baby and how she had been one of those terrible women who gave their sons away. Let him know what sort of person she really was – not the innocent girl of his dreams, but a foolish and heartless one.
Yet she couldn’t bring herself to tell him. She couldn’t bear to see the loving expression and passion in his eyes turn to disillusion and disappointment. He pulled her into his arms once more and kissed her tenderly. Adela felt slow, hot tears trickle down her cheeks. Sam pulled away.
‘Adela, my darling, what’s wrong?’ He looked at her with such loving compassion that she thought her heart would break in two.
‘Nothing,’ she said. What a coward she was! ‘I better get back.’
‘Adela.’ He stopped her getting up. ‘Speak to me. Have I gone too fast? I don’t want to put you off, but I thought we felt the same about each other. I’ll wait if that’s what you want.’
She looked away. ‘I do love you Sam, so very much. But—’
‘But what? Is there someone else, Adela? Have you promised yourself to another man? I wouldn’t blame you after all this time.’ When she didn’t answer, he dropped his hold and sighed. ‘I thought it was too good to be true that you weren’t already spoken for.’
‘It’s not like that,’ Adela struggled to explain.
‘Then what is it, my darling?’
