Page 107 of Ony If It's You
“I do.” I nodded and kissed his neck.
“Good because right about now, you’re the only mothafucka that I can trust.”
“Huh? Why do you say that?”
“When I left here last night, I went to my pops’ crib. I knew I could go there and lock myself up in my old room and not be bothered, but when I got there I heard him arguing with someone on the low. I crept closer to eavesdrop a little and heard Ms. Phyllis’s voice…” I tensed up thinking about where he was going with the conversation. “I heard the nigga say she was my mother, Lani. All these years I been wondering about her, she been right in my fucking face.”
The massage ceased and I pulled my hands away in fear that he’d be able to sense my tension and nervousness. He peeked over his shoulder at me when I stopped.
“You straight?”
“Y-yeah,” I stammered. “Just surprised that’s all.”
“Yeah?” He eyed me skeptically when he turned all the way around.
“Yeah, th-that’s crazy, baby.” I fought hard to maintain my poker face as I massaged my neck with one hand. “Are you okay? Did you talk to them? What did they say?”
“A whole bunch of fucking nothing. They were blaming each other and shit. Ms. Phyllis was crying and shit though.”
“Yeah that’s how she was with me, too.”
“What?” His eyes quickly connected to mine.
“What?” I repeated, confused. “What do you mean,what?”
“Naw, what the fuck you meanthat’s how she was with you?”
“Nothing, I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He frowned. “You knew?”
“Huh?”
He stood over me. “Kehlani. You knew this shit already?”
“What? No, I?—”
“Stop, bruh!” he snapped making my mouth slam shut. “Let me stop you before you lie to my fucking face, Kehlani.”
“Okay, I’m sorry,” I cried. “I knew, but she begged me not to say anything. She didn’t even mean to tell me.”
“I don’t give a fuck, Lani,” he barked. “Who the fuck are you married to? Me or her ass?”
“You, but?—”
“And who is your loyalty to?”
“You, Javyous.”
“O-fucking-kay then,” he spat, stomping over, snatching the drawer open, and grabbing a pair of his boxers.
“I wanted to tell you bu?—”
He cut me off. “But you mothafuckin’ didn’t! You know, Kehlani, I’m starting to really wonder about you and this entire fucking relationship shit. You don’t listen to shit that I tell you, you don’t trust me to be a fucking man, your fucking man, and you’re keeping all kinds of fucking secrets. Maybe this shit ain’t the fucking move for us.”
“Wh-what are you saying?” He slipped a shirt over his head and a pair of shorts over his boxers. “Where are you going?”
“Move, Kehlani.”
